tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943829745703430044.post4851016976002191501..comments2023-11-21T09:12:12.061-08:00Comments on Mistress Merry's Musings: DiscouragedMerry Contraryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13605968415958113942noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7943829745703430044.post-23377462126868716862014-06-03T04:12:44.857-07:002014-06-03T04:12:44.857-07:00Maybe... it was all too good to be true... and it ...Maybe... it was all too good to be true... and it really wasn't meant to be. <br /><br />Maybe ...I was trying to make changes in my life just to please someone else .... (you)... and not so much because I really wanted the changes for myself. How often does that sort of thing really work out?<br /><br />Maybe I really enjoyed my solitary existence, then jumped into this multi-person relationship because I saw it as a 'dream come true'....<br /><br />And...maybe...now that some reality is sinking in, that I have and have always had SO MUCH DIFFICULTY with just being open and honest and transparent and genuine ... with another human being... that maybe we come to realize...<br />..that I just can't do it... well, I can't learn to do it overnight, I can't change overnight, and who can?.... <br /><br />And maybe, I start to think... another relationship (for me) that seems to be heading south ... because of my own inability to be honest and open and genuine... what is this for me, the fourth such relationship?<br /><br />And then I lie, to you and to me, to cover it up, to mask it, to hide ... because I don't want to admit to another failure.<br /><br />And depression beckons to me.<br />Merryslavehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11209310275450354399noreply@blogger.com