Thursday, October 12, 2017

For My Loving Stalker

You! You know who you are. You were so shy and timid when we met. Apologizing for everything to the point where you made me crazy. You told me all about your hopes and desires. Then one day, without warning, you disappeared.

Maybe a year later, I received a one word text:
It was you! We went back and forth again, and you disappeared once more. Never to return (or so I thought)

Then, about a week ago, I received the following email:

Hi Mistress Merry, 
It has been awhile. I hope you haven't forgotten me. We met awhile back like 2014.
I ran into your musings blog and found them very insightful.
I wanted to see how you were doing you.  Hope you, Shilo and Stitch are doing great.
Miss you.
I replied back:
2014? That was a lifetime ago! I can barely remember what I had for dinner last week. 

Please don't take it personally. I just don't recall meeting a (name redacted). Maybe you could tell me where we met, and hopefully it will jog my memory. 

Everyone in my Household is well, and thank you for asking. There's been a few changes, but most of them are good. 

Then you wrote back and gave me the missing details. I was happy, proud even, because not once did you apologize. I felt you had gained some maturity. I even mentioned it. Then, at one point during our back and forth, you did it. You apologized! To me! Because I was slow in responding, and you thought you had offended me!

An undeserved or unnecessary apology is probably the most offensive thing you could offer or say to me. A well-deserved apology is always appreciated, but I will tell you when one is necessary. I prefer blunt honesty, because while it might hurt at the moment, in the long run, it's helpful. 

You will be held responsible for what you say or do, and even if you do the wrong thing, an apology isn't necessarily in order, but an acknowledgement of the misdeed is.
I prefer to dole out discipline over hearing an apology, but I will occasionally expect both. To make things easier for everyone, I have a few points to share with you. Read them, and understand them.
The following is a Fet Blog entry read it and understand it:
I'm a Dominant. That means that, like it or not, I get to decide if I want you around me, my Household, my Pack, my chosen Family. It means, in my Household, at least, I get to choose your position. Are you an Alpha male? Well, I get to decide that. Trying to find my favor and usurping authority does not go over well. My Household has a hierarchy. You can be Beta, Omega, or somewhere in between, but I chose the Alpha male. He has earned that spot.
If or when I invite you to be a part of my Household, I will give you my rules for all household members. I will be patient and kind in explaining what I expect, and how I want things done. I will correct you the first few times you make an error, but I will expect you to remember them. I might even go behind you and do things the way I want them done. I expect you to notice and learn. I expect no argument as to why you think your way is better. In fact, arguing will not be tolerated. Discussions are welcome.

I do my best to be fair and equal and I give options whenever possible. Do not mistake my kindness for weakness. Do not, even for a moment, think you will get away with shit. I keep track. I listen, and I know. I have a breaking point, and you will have time to get your shit in order. I might surprise you, but it's only because you didn't listen or heed the warnings that were liberally given.

Don't point fingers at the others. Don't disrespect them. They have the same rules as you. Let this serve as a warning to those who follow your footsteps. It's too late for one, but there will be others, and they will be wise to learn from your mistakes.

And here is yet another helpful blog entry from Fet:

A Lesson
Early in a relationship, I will often assign small tasks to complete with a 24 or 48 hour deadline. Most of them are writing related, and something anyone can complete in about an hour. (Unless you type like me, then it's a 3 hour struggle) When I make this politely stated request, it is a DEMAND. I expect it to be done within that deadline. There are no excuses, no negotiating. I want it done.

New subs often freak out, and over-think these assignments because they want to make a perfect presentation. The truth is, I don't expect a perfect presentation. I don't even want a perfect presentation. I want to see the flaws. I want to see the imperfections. I want to see them as they really are, and not some college-level paper.

I won't tell a sub this, because I want to see how they process the request. I want to see if they can follow simple directions and what happens when I give them something low-pressure that might appear to be high pressure. I want to see if they will simply do as they are told, or make excuses. I want to "separate the wheat from the chaff." These things are what shows me if a submissive is ready to serve me, or is self-serving.

The Truth is, I don't want to see anyone fail with me, because then it becomes my fault. My failure. It means I made the error of choosing someone incapable of serving me.

Please understand: I know I'm imperfect and I make mistakes. I'm human, I get it! However, I have made so many terrible, nay, horrible decisions regarding people (mostly men) in my life that it's cringe-worthy. It's why I made all these rules regarding my polyamory practices. It's to save me from myself. It's to prevent an upheaval of the people closest to me. My Pack, my Family, my Household has the people most important to me. They are the ones who are most affected by my decisions, whether they are good or bad. They are the ones who get hurt more than me in those instances. I don't want to spend any more time repairing those relationships. So... after my last (HUGE) mistake, I'm making sure that I carefully screen the ones I allow to get close to me.

So, those requests with deadlines? If you want to serve me, if you want to 'prove' you're ready to be my submissive, get them done by the deadline, because if you don't, or you try to negotiate this non-negotiable thing, all you will do is end what could be a wonderful thing, and prove that you aren't ready to be my submissive. CHOOSE WISELY!

And, Finally, this one:

Note To A Submissive Male

Soo... I somehow managed to charm you in some way, and you find me to be delightful. I appreciate that, I really do, but it always catches me by surprise, and I find myself wondering “Why me? There's nothing special about me. After all, I'm just myself.” I guess me being me is a good thing, although I often find myself comparing myself to others. You know.. the younger prettier ones with their nice bodies, firm breasts and perfect asses. I was like them once, a very long time ago. I guess age and experience trumps a young pretty face. Maybe I possess that undefinable 'it factor.' Maybe I need to stop worrying about it, and just enjoy it. Either way, you want me, and I have you. Now I just have to enjoy you.

I could tell you I'm not like the others, but you already know that. I could tell you I'm not for everybody, that I'm an acquired taste, but you know that too. I could tell you I'll twist your mind, turn you inside out, and make you dependent on me, but I honestly believe that is what you're secretly hoping for. So, what's my secret? There is none. I'll look you in the eye and tell you about myself, show you my flaws, and pour myself out to you. I'll tell you the painful truth, and I'll expect the same from you.

I will push you and take you places you never imagined. I will show you my complete self, and I won't apologize for being me, but I will apologize for my mistakes, and, trust me, I make mistakes. I learn from them too. I have rules, I prefer that you follow them, and don't push my patience level. I have a low tolerance for brats. Even so, I don't let go and release people easily. I'm not good at ending things. Don't try me, don't push me. You won't like me if you do.

You will never be my 'one and only' but you are my only you, and I like you like that. Don't try to be someone else. Try not to be jealous of Shilo or Stitch. They live with me, They see me at my worst. They've taken care of me when I was sick and unbearable. Ask yourself if that's what you want. It's true, you will eventually witness me in a bad state, but there's no need to rush into it.

I will tell you as much as I know at any given time, but believe me when I tell you that it's not everything. I am unable to remember it all, so when I casually mention something you never heard me say before, don't be surprised or hurt. Instead, chalk it up to my faulty memory. I'll never purposely hide something from you. I have nothing to hide.

Maybe some time in the future, I'll allow you into my life completely, but in the meantime, please enjoy me, Ask me questions and learn from me, but don't challenge me unless you want a way out. Know that I'm writing this so you'll know. Try to be happy, and don't over-think things.

The adventure awaits you!

Now, my dear Loving Stalker, Do you understand what is necessary, and do you think you're up for it?

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Pay No Attention To The Men Behind The Curtain!

I'm considering "considering" a submissive. I've decided to take this slowly and see if he's really up to serving me, and I have no desire to rush things. He's recently divorced, and sometimes I feel as if he wants romance. Romance can be nice, but it's not what I want right now. I've spoken in a very straightforward way about this. I'm not fond of breaking hearts, so I have been honest to a fault. He's even met Shilo, and is completely aware of what he's getting into. Still, I am taking this painfully slow.

Strangely enough, my boyfriend is dating someone new, a polyamorous female submissive, and things are progressing well. I'm looking forward to meeting her, and I plan on working hard to not make comparisons. I'm glad he's seeing someone, because he actually seems happy, and I recall how unhappy he was just a few months ago.

Then, over the weekend, I received an email from someone who knows me well enough to call me "Mistress Merry" and he made references to Stitch and Shilo as well. It was slightly unnerving, because I didn't recognize the name, so I explained that I didn't recognize his name. Fortunately, he gave me his middle name and I remembered him.  It was actually someone that liked both Shilo and myself, and was interested in serving a couple, and liked the idea of being part of a "harem"  (his words, not mine) I'm actually thinking of taking him up on his offer and putting him to work around the house. I could use an escort/driver to weekday evening activities, and he would be perfect. Maybe I can start  doing fun weekday stuff after all...

So yeah, there are men behind the curtain, but for now, pay no attention.