What is this anger you speak of, and why do you think that my anger,
if any, is focused on anyone other than myself? I’m a grown-up and
I make my own decisions. Sure, I might consult with Shilo or Stitch,
and my Mentor when he was alive, but the end decision to do something
is my own. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m guilty of poor
decisions in the past. I’ll even admit that I’m guilty of poor
decisions in the recent past. Sometimes, I’ll even allow my
emotions to guide my decisions, and love is a pretty powerful
I don’t feel anger. I do feel pain and disappointment, with both
myself and others. How could I have trusted someone with my heart?
Why do I love and trust others at all? Even though I could easily say
there was deceit, the deceit isn’t solely on the other person,
because I deceived myself as well. Probably more than they did. I
wanted to believe that the love was reciprocal. Maybe it was.
Unfortunately, sometimes, love just isn’t enough.
for me, at least, is less about sex and sexual activity than love.
Love is the common denominator. Love is always there. I’m all for
others having as much sex as they want (preferably safely) but love
comes first for me. If I don’t love you, I won’t engage in sexual
intercourse with you. I tell others, and they just don’t get it.
They believe it’s about sex for everyone. That’s fine, it’s
just not for me.
of you reading this might be surprised by what I’m about to write,
mostly because I have remained silent, and I didn’t want to cause
trouble or further heartache for someone, but in the past week, I
have been accused of (in no particular order) overreacting, being
irrational, unreasonable, intentionally causing problems,
backstabbing, telling lies about someone, being mean, being
malicious, not being sex-positive, and dragging someone through the
mud, when the truth was (and has always been) that I have always
spoken about this person in complimentary ways. Telling others how
wonderful, caring, and considerate this person was, and when I was
asked about what happened between us, I’ve only said that it was a
miscommunication, and that we were unable to reach an agreement.
understand now that by using those words against me, it was a
pathetic attempt to cause me to feel guilt. To that, I say “too
late!” I already felt guilty when I realized what a poor decision I
made. Maybe if I had received kindness instead, I wouldn’t be where
I am now.
½ years after it began. It was my decision based on my (now ex)
boyfriend's actions. In a way, he made it easy, in another way, he
ripped me to shreds. I loved him. I still love him, and
many feelings... hurt, betrayed, disrespected, and sadness that the
events leading to the breakup happened. Put simply, he cheated. I
know that some people can't understand how polyamorous people can
cheat, so I will explain:
had an agreement in place. I have my own personal guidelines that
Stitch and I put in place when we first started this journey.
Later, when Shilo entered my life, he agreed to the guidelines. When
I started dating my boyfriend, he agreed to my personal rules
regarding how sexual activity with me is handled as well. Right about
2 years after we started dating, he requested and fulfilled the final
requirement for us to engage in intercourse. There had been kissing,
touching, and oral sex early in the relationship, but no intercourse.
once that final hurdle was passed, I had permission to engage in
intercourse with him. How much, how often is mostly irrelevant. What
is relevant is that as time passed, I realized that we needed
parameters with each other. Negotiations ensued, and our relationship
was good. It was healthy. We saw each other frequently and enjoyed
each other's company.
early August, he asked about becoming fluid bonded(ref:
https://www.verywell.com/fluid-bonding-3132610) with me, but he
wanted me to have a full set of STD tests which includedHSV1,
HSV2, and HPV. I was fine with that, but imagine my horror when my
doctor told me that I would have to see a GYN doctor! Okay, now
you're probably wondering what's so horrible about seeing a GYN
doctor. I have PTSD, and some of that is related to a rape exam I had
when I was raped in July 2004. Just seeing the stirrups causes a
panic attack. Waiting 4 weeks for the appointment was hell, and then
having to drag Shilo with me so he could help me get through the exam
was emotionally exhausting.
I tested negative for everything but HSV1 (cold sore virus) and since
he has HSV1 as well, it was okay. When he fucked the other woman he
started seeing last month, (ref: comments on
it was without a condom, but then he told me that they would be using
a condom with each other after that. I took him at his word. He never
mentioned if or when she was tested.
the meantime, we engaged in unprotected sex early this month. He
never mentioned anything about the other girl, so I assumed it was
okay, and that they were using condoms.
until Saturday (1-13) evening. Shilo was going to the hospital for
tests, and I wanted to attend a party, and since my boyfriend was
attending, he agreed to drive me and have me spend the night. He had
mentioned wanting to "talk" so I was kind of prepared for
less-than-good news. When I asked him what the news was, I realized
that I really wasn't prepared for what I heard.
I heard was "I don't care about our agreement or the health of
Shilo and Stitch, or even you. I've been fucking (girl) without a
condom, and I plan to continue." What he said was "I've
been having sex with (girl) frequently without a condom."
When I asked why, he said "It just happened."
THE EVER-LIVING FUCK???!!!
my thought, but instead I expressed my anger and disappointment at
his irresponsibility and lack of concern for not only my safety but
the safety of my Household, and I started sobbing uncontrollably. In
the meantime, we had arrived at the venue, and I got myself together
the best way I knew how, and said that I wasn't ready to deal with
it. When we walked in, I put on my happy brave face, and talked to a
few people, avoiding my boyfriend, and struggling to keep
actually had one scene planned with a young man, and after
announcements, I played with him for about thirty minutes. Then I
noticed my boyfriend playing with the other girl, and because I
couldn't handle it, I walked into the front office and tried to
regain my rapidly-disappearing composure. One of the leaders who is a
friend asked me if I was okay, and it put me over the edge, and I
stared to cry again.
she heard the story, she said "You aren't going home with him,
are you?" I was at a party in the middle of Orange County, and I
live in Long Beach. What else was I supposed to do?? There
wasn't anyone at the party who lived anywhere near Long Beach, and
most of the people were passing acquaintances at best. One of
the other leaders offered to let me stay overnight with him and his
wife, and I immediately refused because I didn't know him, and had no
clue who his wife was.
my friend vouched for him, and when he offered again, I agreed. I
found my boyfriend, asked him to let me get my medication out of the
car, and then took all my stuff out. He didn't notice. I spent most
of the rest of the evening until the party was over in the office
alternating between crying and regaining my composure. Sometime
during my more composed times, the wife came in, and it turned out
that I did know her. She was happy to have me overnight, so I at
least felt comfortable with the idea.
before the party ended, I told my boyfriend that my friend wanted me
to stay with her so I could help her with some things in the morning,
and when he asked, I told him that I had my stuff. I had sent a text
to Child #2 telling him that I was at a party, and I wasn't going
home with my boyfriend, so I wanted him to have the address of where
I was going to be.
I was back at the home of my wonderful host and hostess, and settled,
I laid down and cried all night. Sleep eluded me. I was so very sad
and miserable, and I knew I had to end it, but taking the advice of
my friend, and another friend I had emailed the night before, I
decided to wait a few days until my head was clear. I didn't want to
react emotionally and lose my composure, and I was really afraid that
I'd be unable to do it.
they drive me home on Sunday afternoon, I had already notified Stitch
by text that I didn't stay overnight with my boyfriend and that I'd
explain when I got home. I burst into tears again as I told Stitch
and Shilo what happened. I was fully expecting an "I
told you so" from Shilo, and instead he comforted me and held
me, and gently undressed me, set up my CPAP, and tucked me in bed.
was just so very sad, and I cried whenever I was awake. On Monday
evening, my boyfriend sent me an email saying he was ready to talk
when I was, and I suggested a text on Tuesday evening.
Tuesday came, he wanted to talk on the phone, but I realized that no
matter how composed I thought I was, that I'd be unable to talk on
the phone without losing it. So I insisted on text. Two hours and
fifteen minutes later, it was over.
never did accept responsibility for his behavior, stating that he did
nothing wrong, and insisting that my tears and
questions was not only overreacting, but irrational as well! Again I
THE EVER-LIVING FUCK???!!!
like my eyes were finally opened, and I realized that he was
completely oblivious to the pain he caused, and I was being
gaslighted besides. That is a painful truth for me. It took him
breaking our agreement for me to finally see the ugly painful truth.
tears me apart most right now is that I still love him,
but I Love myself more, and I have to do what's best for me and my
only final thought is that even though it's over, we were able to
communicate, and other that that one HUGE whatever (I really don't
know what to call it) our relationship was strong, and I feel it was
a successful polyamory relationship, and I'm not discouraged from
trying again, but right now, I just want to focus on enriching
existing relationships with friends and acquaintances and not rush
into another relationship. That can wait until my heart and emotions
Don’t mind me. I’m just sitting here at my desk thinking
about recent events. There’s nothing wrong with thinking about things,
Well, only in this particular case, there are others who have asked
about my feelings, and even some who are concerned enough to want to
reassure me. Between you, (the reader) me, and the lamppost, I’m glad
for the reassurances even though I don’t need them. It proves to me that
I really am cared for, and that my feelings
(mostly positive, as opposed to negative, but undecided) matter. Having
my feelings matter is important, and a very big thing for me.
I won’t lie: Yesterday, there was a (very) brief moment where a voice
told me that I didn’t have a choice in the matter, and that might
be true in a way, but what it didn’t say (and never says) is that I’m
not any less important just because of the changes. I know where I
stand. I know my place, I know my history, and I recognize my
importance. What makes all this (my feelings and the events) funny is
that I’ve had this conversation with both Stitch and Shilo at one point
or another, regarding them and their status with me. The tables have
turned a bit. The only difference is that I’m not left wondering why I
can’t be “enough” because I know that reason. I have also known for a
long time that something like this was going to happen eventually.
“Just coffee, “Just a meeting,” “Just a play date,” “Maybe a sub,”
“WOW!” I’m familiar with those phrases. I’m also familiar with “How do
you feel about,” “Do you like,” and “I’m thinking about.” I’ve always
voiced my opinion since my meltdown in June of this year. It was very
“unlike me” to do that, but I was also taken seriously because I’ve
never done that before, and I probably will never do it again. It was
that meltdown that opened the door to the phrases I mentioned earlier in
A few weeks ago, I was given the “How do you feel about” in reference
to more than one person for various reasons. I replied positively
about most, but I also expressed some unease about a situation and gave
various reasons why, including that I hate to see or hear about someone I
love getting disappointed by something or someone. I have reserved the
right to say “I told you so” in those matters, but instead I usually get
“You were right” and that makes me feel good.
I’m glad I wrote about this. I feel more clear-headed about things
now. If someone were to ask me about my feelings, I’d say that I’m okay.
I don’t want or need reassurances right now, but if that changes, I
promise I’ll say something.
Woke up 4AM couldn't sleep, so here I am. I know it's
Christmas Eve, but since Shilo works on Christmas, I'm making Christmas
dinner tonight (heaven knows how I'll do it next year!)
Anyway, Christmas dinner tonight, Christmas breakfast tomorrow on
Christmas day. My son Babyman is with me, and he'll visit his dad's side
of the family with Jonathan (who is feeling better) tomorrow. (Thank you
for the prayers)
In the meantime, I've been trying (to no avail) to remember Mom's
recipe for Christmas pork, and I even bought the pork and wine
yesterday. I've made it a few times over the years when she was alive,
and I even made it my first Christmas after marrying Shilo 4 years ago.
I finally went online this morning (since I couldn't sleep) and found
a variation of it that was close enough to the original that I've
remembered Mom's recipe (gotta buy GARLIC!!!) so I'm really looking
forward to eating it with scrambled eggs and orange rolls on Christmas
morning. I'm also trying a new (to me) recipe for ham that you make in
the crockpot today for dinner. If you're curious, I'm making chili with
Stitch on Christmas Day for dinner.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to ALL! Remember, it's not the
date on the calendar that counts, it's the spirit in how you celebrate
I have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and normally, I get through it with lots of fluids, plenty of rest, and what my former Therapist (Peter Pan) called my "secret weapon." A really great antidepressant that has minimal side effects. Unfortunately, it's not working as well as I hoped this month, and I'm not feeling anywhere close to my best. Add that Shilo is fighting his own demons, and it multiplies.
It's making for a less-than-happy December, and if you add that December 21 will make 5 years since my Mother died unexpectedly, I'm beginning to wonder if I will get through this month without becoming a sobbing incoherent mess that hides in bed all day and night.
I'm not incapable of happy moments, and I never completely give up. After all, as the saying goes: "The Show Must Go On," and I will do my very best to do so. It's just that it's becoming a bigger and bigger struggle to do it, and I sometimes worry that it will overtake me. The good news is that as long as I struggle and worry about it, my mental health is okay. It's when I completely give up and give in that things become dangerous. I have never given up. I just have to muddle through this the best I know how.
I am very fortunate and thankful to have Shilo and Stitch by my side, and Donna as my support animal. She really does help, even though sometimes I wish she would give me more space.
(Donna in space)
Maybe I need a pleasant distraction. Maybe I have too much time on my hands, and finding something to do for someone else will help. Anyway, I'm up for suggestions.
I don't post all the time. In fact, I'm easily distracted (SQUIRREL!) and sometimes I just feel there's nothing interesting to write, although I'm pretty sure a reader or two would argue otherwise. So, in order to fill my desire to write, and understanding that I have the occasional writer's block, here's an invitation: I invite anyone reading this to ask me anything, and I will either give a short explanation (not desirable) or I will write a long explanation (more desirable) or if you want a story, just ask. I'd prefer personal-type questions, but feel free to challenge me (Daddy W used to do that to me, and I would curse under my breath as I researched things) but just ask. My only request is that if posting Anonymously, please give me a nickname so I can use it in my answer. Thank you! Merry
I know, I rarely post here, but I figured it was time for me to update on my boyfriend (Mike) and how our relationship is going post agreement. Mike has had several starts and stops with female subs, including one I was excited about finally meeting. He used the "L" word (Love) with her, and she panicked and ended it. Apparently she wanted just sex, in spite of claiming that she was polyamorous. Not a good match! For most of July (and part of August) before he went back to school (He's in his second year of Law School at a college in OC) his communication was sporadic, and I knew he had lots of things on his mind, so I didn't make an issue about it, choosing instead to initiate conversation and not complaining. That first Saturday after school started, we were texting back and forth, and he was telling me that weekend homework was bad enough, but doing laundry in the tiny apartment washers and taking his bedding to the cleaners because of the tiny washers was killing him. A light bulb went on in my head. I said "Honey, that's just too much! How about if I help you? You can drop off your laundry here and pick it up at your convenience? I have a HUGE washer and dryer." He hesitated, but I added "Nobody will complain." I just viewed it as an additional way to see him at least twice a week, and he would have to communicate with me on a regular basis. It's worked out really well. Sometimes it's a quick drop off and pickup, and other times he plans a nice date with me on the drop off day. On the Sunday before Halloween he took me to Magic Mountain with him! I've been eating delicious vegan food as well, because when he takes me out, it's always vegan. He said he doesn't mind me eating meat, but I enjoy the adventure of trying new things. I have only had one bad experience with vegan food, and it was when he made vegan pizza for me. Pizza isn't my favorite food to begin with, so after that, I just told him that pizza and I don't get along very well. We were texting back and forth Tuesday (11-7) afternoon, and he mentioned how happy he was with our relationship. Then I dropped the bomb that I was thisclose to ending things with him before we made a formal agreement because I was feeling like I was just an option to him, and not a priority at all. He would rarely contact me, and our dates (when we had them) were rushed and/or he was distracted. Now when we go out, he's always as focused on me as much as I'm focused on him. He holds my hand when we cross the street, and he smiles and laughs. It's just really good to be in that space with him.
In other news, the submissive I was "considering" considering wasn't communicating with me very often, in spite of my encouragement. It was frustrating, and it reached a boiling point when at noon the day before my Magic Mountain trip, he sent me a message asking me why I didn't tell him where we were going that evening. I told him we weren't going anywhere because he never bothered to contact me about buying tickets, so I made plans to sit at home and watch shows that were accumulating on my DVR. I gave him a few days to think that over, and then I made a last-minute dinner date with him, and then asked him to join us (Shilo and myself) in attending a dungeon party. During that date, I reminded him that maintaining our relationship was his responsibility because I'm not going to pursue him. I told him that yes, I was very interested in him, but I need to feel desired, and if I'm the one to always make contact, then something is lacking. It's gotten better since that talk last week and our dungeon date went well. I sent him a text yesterday afternoon asking him if he was free this weekend, and he was very enthusiastic.
Friday (11-10) is Shilo's Birthday (he'll be 61!) and we haven't made any definite plans because he's been sick this week. Finally, my honesty about who I am and what I do, and how I live seems to be paying off, even in "Lake Vanilla" AKA Vanilla dating sites (OKC) I've been ignoring my stuff there for a few months, but I got a very nice detailed message last week from a recent NY transplant. I quizzed him on my profile content and his opinion on it, and I suggested that he ask me anything he isn't sure about. We had a late lunch yesterday, and he's genuinely nice. Not holding my breath, but having someone who who only wants to go out with no expectations is a breath of fresh air. If you're curious about my dating profile, you can find it below:
You know who you are. You were so shy and timid when we met.
Apologizing for everything to the point where you made
me crazy. You told me all about your hopes and desires. Then one day,
without warning, you disappeared.
Maybe a year later, I
received a one word text:
It was you! We went back and
forth again, and you disappeared once more. Never to return (or so I
Then, about a week
ago, I received the following email:
Hi Mistress Merry,
It has been awhile. I
hope you haven't forgotten me. We met awhile back like 2014.
I ran into your musings
blog and found them very insightful.
I wanted to see how you
were doing you. Hope you, Shilo and Stitch are doing great.
I replied back:
2014? That was a lifetime
ago! I can barely remember what I had for dinner last week.
Please don't take it
personally. I just don't recall meeting a (name redacted). Maybe you
could tell me where we met, and hopefully it will jog my memory.
Everyone in my Household
is well, and thank you for asking. There's been a few changes, but
most of them are good.
Then you wrote back and gave
me the missing details. I was happy, proud even, because not once did
you apologize. I felt you had gained some maturity. I even mentioned
it. Then, at one point during our back and forth, you did it. You
apologized! To me! Because I was slow in responding, and you thought
you had offended me!
An undeserved or unnecessary
apology is probably the most offensive thing you could offer or say
to me. A well-deserved apology is always appreciated, but I will tell
you when one is necessary. I prefer blunt honesty, because while it
might hurt at the moment, in the long run, it's helpful.
You will be
held responsible for what you say or do, and even if you do the wrong
thing, an apology isn't necessarily in order, but an acknowledgement
of the misdeed is.
I prefer to dole out
discipline over hearing an apology, but I will occasionally expect
both. To make things easier for everyone, I have a few points to
share with you. Read them, and understand them.
The following is a Fet Blog
entry read it and understand it:
I'm a Dominant. That means
that, like it or not, I get to decide if I want you around me, my
Household, my Pack, my chosen Family. It means, in my Household, at
least, I get to choose your position. Are you an Alpha male? Well, I
get to decide that. Trying to find my favor and usurping authority
does not go over well. My Household has a hierarchy. You can be Beta,
Omega, or somewhere in between, but I chose the Alpha male. He has
earned that spot.
If or when I invite you to
be a part of my Household, I will give you my rules for all household
members. I will be patient and kind in explaining what I expect, and
how I want things done. I will correct you the first few times you
make an error, but I will expect you to remember them. I might even
go behind you and do things the way I want them done. I expect you to
notice and learn. I expect no argument as to why you think your way
is better. In fact, arguing will not be tolerated. Discussions are
I do my best to be
fair and equal and I give options whenever possible. Do not mistake
my kindness for weakness. Do not, even for a moment, think you will
get away with shit. I keep track. I listen, and I know.
I have a breaking point, and you will have time to get your shit in
order. I might surprise you, but it's only because you didn't listen
or heed the warnings that were liberally given.
Don't point fingers at
the others. Don't disrespect them. They have the same rules as you.
Let this serve as a warning to those who follow your footsteps. It's
too late for one, but there will be others, and they will be wise to
learn from your mistakes.
And here is yet
another helpful blog entry from Fet:
Early in a relationship, I
will often assign small tasks to complete with a 24 or 48 hour
deadline. Most of them are writing related, and something anyone can
complete in about an hour. (Unless you type like me, then it's a 3
hour struggle) When I make this politely stated request, it is a
DEMAND. I expect it to be done within that
deadline. There are no excuses, no negotiating. I want it done.
New subs often freak
out, and over-think these assignments because they want to make a
perfect presentation. The truth is, I don't expect a perfect
presentation. I don't even want a perfect presentation. I want to see
the flaws. I want to see the imperfections. I want to see them as
they really are, and not some college-level paper.
I won't tell a sub
this, because I want to see how they process the request. I want to
see if they can follow simple directions and what happens when I give
them something low-pressure that might appear to be high
pressure. I want to see if they will simply do as they are told, or
make excuses. I want to "separate the wheat from the chaff."
These things are what shows me if a submissive is ready to serve me,
or is self-serving.
The Truth is, I don't
want to see anyone fail with me, because then it becomes my
fault. My failure. It means I made the error of choosing someone
incapable of serving me.
Please understand: I
know I'm imperfect and I make mistakes. I'm human, I get it! However,
I have made so many terrible, nay, horrible decisions
regarding people (mostly men) in my life that it's cringe-worthy.
It's why I made all these rules regarding my polyamory practices.
It's to save me from myself. It's to prevent an upheaval of the
people closest to me. My Pack, my Family, my Household has the people
most important to me. They are the ones who are most affected by my
decisions, whether they are good or bad. They are the ones who get
hurt more than me in those instances. I don't want to spend any more
time repairing those relationships. So... after my last (HUGE)
mistake, I'm making sure that I carefully screen the ones I allow to
get close to me.
So, those requests
with deadlines? If you want to serve me, if you want to 'prove'
you're ready to be my submissive, get them done by the deadline,
because if you don't, or you try to negotiate this non-negotiable
thing, all you will do is end what could be a wonderful thing, and
prove that you aren't ready to be my submissive. CHOOSE WISELY!
And, Finally, this one:
To A Submissive Male
I somehow managed to charm you in some way, and you find me to be
delightful. I appreciate that, I really do, but it always catches me
by surprise, and I find myself wondering “Why me? There's nothing
special about me. After all, I'm just myself.” I guess me being me
is a good thing, although I often find myself comparing myself to
others. You know.. the younger prettier ones with their nice bodies,
firm breasts and perfect asses. I was like them once, a very long
time ago. I guess age and experience trumps a young pretty face.
Maybe I possess that undefinable 'it factor.' Maybe I need to stop
worrying about it, and just enjoy it. Either way, you want me, and I
have you. Now I just have to enjoy you.
could tell you I'm not like the others, but you already know that. I
could tell you I'm not for everybody, that I'm an acquired taste, but
you know that too. I could tell you I'll twist your mind, turn you
inside out, and make you dependent on me, but I honestly believe that
is what you're secretly hoping for. So, what's my secret? There is
none. I'll look you in the eye and tell you about myself, show you my
flaws, and pour myself out to you. I'll tell you the painful truth,
and I'll expect the same from you.
will push you and take you places you never imagined. I will show you
my complete self, and I won't apologize for being me, but I will
apologize for my mistakes, and, trust me, I make mistakes. I learn
from them too. I have rules, I prefer that you follow them, and don't
push my patience level. I have a low tolerance for brats. Even so, I
don't let go and release people easily. I'm not good at ending
things. Don't try me, don't push me. You won't like me if you do.
will never be my 'one and only' but you are my only you, and I like
you like that. Don't try to be someone else. Try not to be jealous of
Shilo or Stitch. They live with me, They see me at my worst. They've
taken care of me when I was sick and unbearable. Ask yourself if
that's what you want. It's true, you will eventually witness me in a
bad state, but there's no need to rush into it.
will tell you as much as I know at any given time, but believe me
when I tell you that it's not everything. I am unable to remember it
all, so when I casually mention something you never heard me say
before, don't be surprised or hurt. Instead, chalk it up to my faulty
memory. I'll never purposely hide something from you. I have nothing
some time in the future, I'll allow you into my life completely, but
in the meantime, please enjoy me, Ask me questions and learn from me,
but don't challenge me unless you want a way out. Know that I'm
writing this so you'll know. Try to be happy, and don't over-think
adventure awaits you!
my dear Loving Stalker, Do you understand what is necessary, and do
you think you're up for it?
I'm considering "considering" a submissive. I've decided to take this slowly and see if he's really up to serving me, and I have no desire to rush things. He's recently divorced, and sometimes I feel as if he wants romance. Romance can be nice, but it's not what I want right now. I've spoken in a very straightforward way about this. I'm not fond of breaking hearts, so I have been honest to a fault. He's even met Shilo, and is completely aware of what he's getting into. Still, I am taking this painfully slow.
Strangely enough, my boyfriend is dating someone new, a polyamorous female submissive, and things are progressing well. I'm looking forward to meeting her, and I plan on working hard to not make comparisons. I'm glad he's seeing someone, because he actually seems happy, and I recall how unhappy he was just a few months ago.
Then, over the weekend, I received an email from someone who knows me well enough to call me "Mistress Merry" and he made references to Stitch and Shilo as well. It was slightly unnerving, because I didn't recognize the name, so I explained that I didn't recognize his name. Fortunately, he gave me his middle name and I remembered him. It was actually someone that liked both Shilo and myself, and was interested in serving a couple, and liked the idea of being part of a "harem" (his words, not mine) I'm actually thinking of taking him up on his offer and putting him to work around the house. I could use an escort/driver to weekday evening activities, and he would be perfect. Maybe I can start doing fun weekday stuff after all...
So yeah, there are men behind the curtain, but for now, pay no attention.
If any of you read about what happened to my Household on Friday, July 21st, I'd like to share some good news:
Even though we were unable to get a loan to cover the money that was
taken from the Household account, my savings, and a joint account that
has Shilo's name on it ($3,600 total), between Shilo cashing in some
vacation, an unexpected check in the mail, donations sent via Paypal, a
check on its way in the mail, and some donations from GoFundMe, it looks
like we are close enough to our goal ($2,500) that ALL the expenses
(Rent, car insurance, utilities and gasoline so Shilo can go to work)
It's been a rough 9 days, and it feels good to breathe easy again.