Why?

Why? is a frequently asked question in my household, especially by Shilo. He doesn't ask because he is obnoxious or obstinate, although he can be both. No, he asks because is naturally curious, and he feels that everything must have a logical reason. I work very hard to give him logical reasons for my actions and desires, but I occasionally fail. After all, I'm human.

Oh, there are other questions, of course, but I don't always feel up to answering them. Sometimes I avoid them by distraction or giving a non-answer, or even asking a question of my own. I feel justified in those reactions for many reasons. I mean, answering "Because I'm the Mistress" should be enough for anyone, especially Shilo. No, it doesn't "work" that way, but one could always hope.

Frequently asked questions (with standard answer)

1. Where are you going? (Out.)

2. What's for dinner? (Food.)

3. How is/was__________? (Fine.)

Yes, I realize that some of those answers are kind of snarky. I can't help it. I've got deep-seated reasons why I answer those questions that way, and I really don't feel like talking about it, especially at that moment.

Starting with question #3. I usually revert to that answer when I don't feel like discussing the event. It could be that it was horrible or rotten, and I'm not up to a long drawn out conversation. On the other hand, it could just be that it was fine.

Question #2 isn't as frequently asked as it used to be, but it goes back to a time when I had very little food, and/or I was unable to decide at that moment. Food, especially dinner, tends to be rather last-minute, so I often don't have an acceptable answer. By saying "Food" I've made it clear I don't want to discuss it, or I'm still deciding.

Now, question #1 is a "trigger" question. I was in an abusive relationship where my every move was watched, and I resented that question. I felt like I was distrusted, and that made me resentful of my former husband. After I finally left him, I enjoyed my freedom, but then my older sister moved in, and suddenly, all I ever heard was that question. I felt that if my mom knew, nobody else needed to know, especially not my older sister. The whole "Where are you going?" question was a thorn in my side. My theory is that I'm an adult and I can do what I want and go where I want. I realize this can cause problems, especially with Shilo,who is, more often than not, just curious or genuinely concerned about me.

Well, I hope this is helpful.