Sunday, March 28, 2021

An Opinion, My Opinion? Doesn't Matter, Cause It's True!

This has been on my mind for a while. 
Shilo has a temper on him. He ALWAYS has. Most of the time, what he gets angry over is BS in my opinion, but SOMETIMES, he's right. And when he's right, I'll stand next to him and agree with him, and defend his reasoning.
In early February, he told me that other than my personal blogs, he was going on a commenting hiatus for a month.  I didn't question him, it's his prerogative, and I fully support him. When the middle of March rolled around, and he was still not commenting on any writing, other than to me personally, I asked him about it. He told me and showed me what had his "panties in a knot,"  I was floored by what I saw, and I agreed with his wisdom to not comment. Am I going to comment about the blog? I sure am! But here, because my allies come here, and can maybe give me feedback that's helpful and kind, and today I need helpful and kind.

 Shilo and myself often frequent blogs that are F/m DD blogs, written by various people who practice that lifestyle.  Some of these people are people that I consider to be my friends. We not only comment on what's been written, but also email each other on occasion. They have provided me with comfort through hard times, and if we were geographically closer, I'm sure we would hang out together and hug each other when times were rough, cause that's what friends do.
Some of these writers have become quite popular over the past 7 years, when we first began perusing these blogs, and one writer in particular has experience with BDSM much like we do, but unless it's brought up, we keep our BDSM out of the picture, cause that's a whole 'nother bag of chips.

There's also some writers who I have stopped reading altogether because they have gone off the deep end in my opinion, and I'm sure that Shilo has stopped as well. Shilo is highly intelligent, but when we first got together in a BDSM setting, eight long years ago, he knew nothing (and I mean NOTHING) about the BDSM lifestyle, other than the fact that he was a masochist, actually, a heavy masochist, that liked nothing more than being spanked. His desire was to be spanked by women, or a woman, but it's not easy for a man to find a woman who will spank him on a regular basis unless it's a pro-domme, especially if you're first starting out.  That led him to finding male spankers, most of whom were gay, to fulfill his needs and desires, even though he was, by his own admission, asexual, but that's a story for another day, and his to tell, not mine.
Now, within the BDSM community, and apparently the DD community, there are those who believe that women are superior to men, and I call bullshit on that! No one gender is better or smarter than the other, although, and I say this with a slight giggle, sometimes men do make bonehead moves because they can be "know-it-alls" who think they can master any task. Sorry, people, we all have our innate talents, and that's just how it is. 


Just because a couple practices F/m DD, it doesn't mean that the woman is infallible. Ideally, the relationship is mutually agreed upon, and rules are set. Well, there are some women who have started reading and commenting on one blog in particular written by a man talking about DD in his life, but also getting plenty of feedback by his readers where these women have written and decided that their husbands not only were forbidden from commenting, but also reading it! 
It sat wrong with Shilo, and rather than spewing vitriol, he opted to just back away (Good for you honey, cause it's far better to choose your battles) and these female CUNTs  (Cant Understand Normal Thinking) aren't worth the effort. Honestly, until he showed me, I had no idea how rabid these commenters had become. It's embarrassing, and now that I've read it myself, I have decided to just hold back on releasing my wrath and righteous anger at them. It's not like they would understand anyway. They're too far up their own asses to notice.

I guess I'm mostly upset because I feel this gentleman's writings would be helpful to men who are in a F/m DD relationship. I feel that knowing you aren't alone in your practices and that there are people in the same position as you who could provide support if needed is important, somewhere where you could ask questions and get answers from real people.
Surely, we can't be the only people who have seen these commenters and realized that the environment will become toxic if it continues unchecked. Sacrificing what you believe in for internet popularity is NOT worth it! Eventually, you'll lose the people who support and believe in you the most. So yeah, I've said it. The person I'm writing about is someone I've grown to like and respect, although he rarely comes here, but I'm pretty sure he'll hear about it.


  1. Oh my, what a timely topic! (you can see my take on some of this on Dan's blog).

    I do not know what blog you are referring to so I can't help much. Vagaries don't sit well with me. I need to take each case on its own merits and since I don't have that, I can't offer much.

    I will say I am no advocate of any superiority based on anything other than ability and even then it's a superiority of expertise and not human worth (although when I think of some human examples, I could be persuaded to be less kind LOL). So A top-scoring whatever is probably better at that 'whatever' than a low-scoring person, but those two people are both still equal in terms of being accorded the simple respect due to any human.

    Anyway...............I'll keep on doing my thing and hope it's nothing that's keeping anyone away.....and if it is, I'd like to know it.

    1. I'm so glad you came to visit me here 🙂

      I decided that rather than causing a controversy with someone I care about, that I would send you a private message with references so you can check out what caused both Shilo and myself to question the motives of the women who were commenting on in particular blog.

      I acknowledge I am not perfect, but I do my best to remain open-minded about this thing that we do.

    2. Thanks, I got it. I will keep my response within that email thread as well.

  2. Oh well there will be assholes and there will be assholes. I'm not even going to be polite. Some people don't deserve it. And I agree, i think that knowing you're not alone and there is someplace to seek support and just general understanding is beneficial, nay, necessary even.

    I often feel those who put others down are just sorely lacking in self confidence and in order to make themselves FEEL better they have to demean those around them. Pfft.

    1. "I often feel those who put others down are just sorely lacking in self confidence and in order to make themselves FEEL better they have to demean those around them."

      While I agree completely, I did want to jump in just for the sake of clarity to say that in the case, Merry is referring to, this aspect is not really what's going on. It's more of a "well this is how it works for me, so it must be how it is for everyone"-kind of thing. More myopic than demeaning. Still annoying as hell, but a little different in intent.

      As for those who make snarky remarks that could be construed as demeaning? Well, being one of them, I have to offer that there can be quite a lot of motives for what people do. (I love the movie "V for Vendetta" and in it, the main character has every reason to seek the revenge he is brutally conducting, and for a long time it seems this is the case. And then, you find he is NOT so much seeking revenge for himself, but for someone else who meant a lot to him and did not have the resource and opportunity to save or avenge herself.) When I go after someone, it is nearly always because something they say triggers an association with a philosophy or attitude that routinely demeans others. Like "V", I feel like my sarcasm arms me well against such people, and so on behalf of all those who routinely get fucked over by racists, moralists, traditionalists, homophobes, classists, etc. I take out my wit, sharpen it, and stick it right up their hypocrisy. Others, perhaps being sympathetic to these people, or not seeing the whole nasty picture, but just the tidy frame surrounding it, think I'm the asshole for snarking. So be it. It's not about making friends.

      I recently had an issue with someone who I thought was a friend who kept making these little passive-aggressive comments to me both in public and private. Nothing overt that would trigger anyone else, just subtle shit. I let a lot of it go until one seemingly innocent remark went too far for me and was "the straw". It was like, "is she for real? Is she just paranoid" Is this all a mistake?" and then concluding over time, "no...this is who she is.....stop trying." So people don't have to be overt or outrageous to harbor little demeaning prejudices or just keep seeing ulterior motives where there are none.

      It's all very complicated this life we all lead. Right?

    2. Ah yes, well. i understand you completely.. i'm a little distracted now but wanted to just pop in and say, yes, i suppose what i mean is that when the snark is unprovoked then I have a problem with it. basically, it's a case of WHO started it. i'm all for tit for tat. if that makes me 'less' then so be it LOL.

      but you know me. I'm governed by my own brand of fairness i suppose.

      and if someone says something on a public forum that i don't agree with i click the x and never return to the site. i often find that voicing my opinion is a wasted endeavour.

    3. Thanks for responding.

      Seeing stuff on public forums is tricky for me. My default setting is to react. Whether I do is a matter of decision based on numerous factors. Sometimes I just let it go, often I don't.

  3. Thank you Fondles ☺

    Surprisingly, too many women fall into the "asshole" category.