"Opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one" Albert Schweitzer (1875-1965)
There is the problem: We all have opinions on things, and it is good that we are all different with different opinions. Asking for help, or an opinion allows us to see things differently. The problem is when we receive unsolicited opinions from people who "think" they know better than you do. Excuse me a moment, but, if you really knew me, you would know why your way would not work for me, besides, I don't recall even asking your opinion in the first place!
I have a Mentor, I have trusted friends and acquaintances from both sides of the slash, and, when I need an opinion or insight, I can (and do) go to them and ask. Sometimes I do what they suggest, other times, I don't, but the important part is that I asked them. Little Miss (or Mister) know-it-all can kiss my ass!
There's nothing wrong with someone who has more experience taking me aside and offering me tips, especially if I know them. My problem is with complete strangers who don't know anything about me telling me or (even worse) my husband/slave what I (or he) should be doing. Shilo is still learning how I like things, and for someone to come along and tell him things contrary to what I want or like is just plain rude.
So, what exactly has my panties in a bunch? Some random female top told him to use baby oil post-spanking. I cannot stand the feel of makeup, lotions or oils on my skin, and forget perfumes or anything else! I also have severe allergies, so I'm very careful about what I allow in my household. Shilo didn't bother to ask me about the suggestion, instead, I was "surprised" by it when I touched him one day after he got out of the shower. Sure, it was as simple as sending him back in, but it shouldn't have happened in the first place.
I was (and still am) so very tempted to hunt her down and tell her off, but I've decided to write this instead. Don't give unsolicited advice to another woman's submissive or slave! The next Mistress/Dominant/Master you piss off may not be as nice as I am. Handle your own household, and mind your own business. Next time I may not be so nice.
As for those of you who have provided me guidance when I've asked, I thank you. You're all the best!