Saturday, July 11, 2015

Tiny Update AKA: How I Know I'm Cared For

My MIL is not well. She hasn't been for several months, so it was no surprise that Shilo received a phone call Tuesday night (7-7) telling him that his father agreed to put her in a hospice facility. It was a bit of a surprise that my FIL called Shilo Wednesday morning and asked him to come as soon as possible. Alone. Without me.

Don't misunderstand: I wasn't angry or hurt over the request. I know that it's cheaper for one than it is two, and he's their son. I'm just the daughter-in-law. That didn't bother me, still I was upset enough that I left and Sunshine showed up crying in frustration. According to Shilo, she said the same thing I did. (Paraphrased below)

"But since we've been together (and married) we've never been apart except for my business meetings when you couldn't go with me. You've never gone away before. It makes me sad and angry (scared is better word) because you aren't supposed to leave me."

I (we) didn't take it well, but there was no way to change the situation. Crying doesn't help either, other than letting go of the pain. I wrote about how I was feeling on my Fet blog, and made mention of Shilo leaving on my FB page. I needed to work through it, and writing is my way of working through things.

Something wonderful happened when Shilo left. I received phone calls, messages, and encouraging notes from (people I consider as) friends. Spike even called me on Friday afternoon! Spike calling might not sound like a big deal, unless you realize that he's currently dealing with his own shitstorm, and I wasn't expecting to hear from him until sometime in early August. (yes, he's THAT busy!) The emotional support I received warmed my heart, and kept me calm, because I realized I do have people I can talk to and cry with. I also reminded myself that this was temporary, and that, barring any emergencies or acts of God, Shilo would be back in a few days at the most.

Today is the day! He should be landing at LAX in about 8 hours. I'll admit, I have had a few nightmares, but they weren't so bad that I woke up screaming or afraid, and tonight I'll be sleeping safely in his arms.

I'm kind of proud of myself for not having any huge meltdowns during his absence, not that I want him to go away without me, but it looks like I can handle it after all.

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