For the past few months, my FIL has been sending out email "blasts" to everyone in his address book about my MIL. I understand the need to do so, and it never bothered me. In fact, the only thing that bothered me was the people who clicked on "Respond to all" vs. "Respond." Mostly because I really don't want to read what others had to say.
So, as anyone reading this knows, my FIL called Shilo on Sunday morning to tell him my MIL had died. Monday morning, we received an email blast about a 'Celebration of life' on Friday. I mentioned this to Shilo, and he stated that he thought there was going to be a funeral on Oklahoma, so I had no reason to be concerned. (Okay dear, whatever you say...) So, late Monday afternoon, as Shilo was preparing for work, my FIL called him and asked if he received the email. (Why, yes I did... why?) It turns out that this is it, there will be no funeral on Oklahoma. Shilo stated of course he would be there, but he wanted (needed) me with him. I will stop here and say that if my FIL had died, my MIL would have (naturally) insisted that I come with Shilo, and wouldn't have had a second thought about paying for me. I do understand my FIL's distress, however, I was shocked when he told Shilo that he couldn't afford for me to come, in spite of Shilo stating how I felt she was a second mother to me because I was still mourning my mother when we met. I was very hurt by his refusal, but I did my best to understand. Then there was the scramble for us to get enough money for me to go, ending with the bank's refusal to raise my credit so I could buy a roundtrip ticket. It was just too much for me to handle. I was a sobbing mess. I just couldn't handle the thought of Shilo doing this on his own, and we all need someone when a parent dies, and I'm his someone.
I went in the bedroom crying, and Shilo woke up to the sound of me sobbing, as I told him I did everything I could, but it wasn't good enough. Somehow, he has enough peace of mind to tell me that he'd figure out a way. After looking at my available credit, and Stitch's available credit, Shilo suggested that I buy a one way ticket there using my credit card, and a one way ticket back using Stitch's credit card. It worked! I almost cried again. Yes, my emotions are a bit unstable right now. I'm embarrassed to say that I told my therapist on the phone Monday that I was "okay." But, really, I was at that time. It wasn't until all the other stuff happened that I fell apart. Anyway, Shilo called his dad and told him I was coming too. I'm honestly not sure if I'm welcome, but I'm going because my husband needs me, and that's all that matters.
With this resolved, today was Shilo's appointment with the GI Specialist ($60 OUCH!) He will FINALLY get the the necessary tests done, so I'm happy. I really do feel like a heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders. Also, on the way to the appointment, Shilo got a text from his boss that made me cry again. His boss arranged for a limo to not only take us to the airport in the morning, but also for a pickup on Saturday. I was really touched by that gesture. God knows how many more times I'll be crying over the next few days, but I'm crying again just by writing about it. So, pickup is 4AM, and I'm not sure if I'll stay up all night or get a few hour's sleep.
I will say that Shilo is still (understandably) stressed out over the whole situation, and he's grouchy, but who can blame him? I'm just taking things minute by minute now. I still have errands to run, so signing off now.
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