Competition

There is none. I say it all the time. Each (male) person fulfills a different aspect of my life, and, in most cases, one cannot substitute or replace the other. The truth is, while there might be some overlapping skill sets, there is no true replacement for the other. Also, there is always room for more. I am able to love each one fully in my own way. One does not and can not take from the other.

Think of it like a household with multiple children. Each one is loved. Nobody goes without. So, what happens when a new child enters the family, and there's jealousy or sibling rivalry? Ideally, this doesn't happen, because each one knows their place and position, but sometimes, even with all the talking and pre-planning it happens. Someone will get an award at school, or someone won't pass the tryouts, and everything will turn upside down due to the extra attention bestowed on one or the other. Each one has different needs at different times. Yes, we want one to be happy for the other one, but sometimes it's hard or downright impossible. Sometimes, even with all the reminders of love someone will feel a twinge of jealousy. Someone will (temporarily) feel insecure. Someone will be overlooked. When that "someone" is you, it's not easy. Even when you are reminded that you are important and special.

I'm far from perfect. I make mistakes. I forget things. I overlook things, and I even step on the feelings of others unintentionally. When does something go from being a "Merry" thing to being a "Merry and Stitch" thing, or a "Merry and Shilo" thing, or a "Family/Household" thing? How do I know this? When our female boarder asks me Tuesday afternoon if everything is okay between me and Shilo because there was no sound of Tuesday morning WMS, how am I supposed to answer that? When and how exactly did that become a Merry and Shilo thing? Or Monday night lasagna dinner with Stitch? Or late night talks with Sherman? There's even the stuff I do exclusively with my female boarder. I separate those things. Those things are definitely "Merry and (insert name here)" things. Other things are still "Merry" things, like the beginning of the month shopping at the 99 cents only store. I mostly do it with Stitch still, but I've done it with Shilo as well. There's the post-dungeon ice cream stop in Rosemead. Also the pre-dungeon dinner in Rosemead that seems to have mostly fallen by the wayside. I never know how things will change and evolve.

So, what do I desire, and how can I get it? I desire clear communication. I can ask for it, but sometimes I don't know how to ask for it. Generally, if something is important to me, I'll tell a person. but unless someone tells me a thing is important to them, I'll place the same importance on it as I do when it relates to me. An example: Cards and celebrations are important to Shilo when it comes to events such as birthdays and (monthly) anniversaries. I used to treat it like it wasn't a big deal, because it wasn't. It took me not giving him a card on his birthday for him to have a meltdown, Once that meltdown took place, and we discussed our different opinions on it, I learned what he expected, and I do my best to get him  a card on our monthly wedding anniversary date, and I will make a big deal on his birthday with a card, because I was told. Stitch doesn't make a big deal on his birthday, so I still keep it low-key. Who knows what types of expectations Sherman has? I guess I'll find out soon enough.

MORAL OF STORY: Plenty of Love to go around. No real competition. Talk about individual needs, desires, and expectations. My mind-reading skills are not as good as everyone thinks they are.

IN CLOSING:  Naptime!