I
am preparing to go on what is my biggest business trip of the year, a
week long convention in Illinois. I will be attending this without Shilo
or Stitch as a travel companion. Yes, my friends, I will be doing this
ALONE! Well, not really... A very close friend of mine, who also needs
to be there, will be on the planes with me. Still, it's not the same as
having Shilo by my side, but I also cannot afford another plane ticket,
or to leave Stitch alone for a week. Logic wins out on this one.
In spite of having everything in place, I am stressed out over all the preparations yet to be done, including purchasing at least two regular dresses, and making phone calls and sending emails to about 400 people in the next 2 days. All this seems so insurmountable that I just want to hide. Being depressed and afraid is NOT the way to go, but it looks like I'm going that way whether I want to or not. I want reassurances and cuddles, but I'm so stressed out that I cannot form the words necessary for me to get what I so badly need. Even as I write this, I know that Shilo will see the word 'need' and think to himself "She doesn't need this, she just wants it." Still, I feel a need for emotional support because of all the things going on around me.
In other news, I made the scheduling arrangements necessary for me to be away for a little over a week. I plan on taking extra time away from work when I return so I can spend it with Shilo and Stitch. Mostly Shilo, because it will be the first time I will have been away from him for more than 4 days in a row since we started seeing each other. I plan on using those extra days after my return to reconnect with him. I feel it's very important for me personally to stay connected to my partners. I've spent a lot of time 'imprinting' myself to Shilo and my efforts have paid off. The success gives me a very large emotional challenge. By succeeding, I've made myself so emotionally attached that to be away from him truly causes me pain. This does not mean I regret it, rather, it means that I have learned how strongly imprinting can affect somebody, specifically me. Sometimes, you just have to pay the price (inside joke/pun intended) anyway, as stated before, my success came with a cost.
In spite of having everything in place, I am stressed out over all the preparations yet to be done, including purchasing at least two regular dresses, and making phone calls and sending emails to about 400 people in the next 2 days. All this seems so insurmountable that I just want to hide. Being depressed and afraid is NOT the way to go, but it looks like I'm going that way whether I want to or not. I want reassurances and cuddles, but I'm so stressed out that I cannot form the words necessary for me to get what I so badly need. Even as I write this, I know that Shilo will see the word 'need' and think to himself "She doesn't need this, she just wants it." Still, I feel a need for emotional support because of all the things going on around me.
In other news, I made the scheduling arrangements necessary for me to be away for a little over a week. I plan on taking extra time away from work when I return so I can spend it with Shilo and Stitch. Mostly Shilo, because it will be the first time I will have been away from him for more than 4 days in a row since we started seeing each other. I plan on using those extra days after my return to reconnect with him. I feel it's very important for me personally to stay connected to my partners. I've spent a lot of time 'imprinting' myself to Shilo and my efforts have paid off. The success gives me a very large emotional challenge. By succeeding, I've made myself so emotionally attached that to be away from him truly causes me pain. This does not mean I regret it, rather, it means that I have learned how strongly imprinting can affect somebody, specifically me. Sometimes, you just have to pay the price (inside joke/pun intended) anyway, as stated before, my success came with a cost.
I will do my best to not become an emotional wreck because of this. I will trust that all will go well, and that when all is said and done, this temporary separation will make both of us stronger.
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