Why did I lock Shilo in chastity? Or, rather, why did I have Shilo lock himself in chastity? Yes, it's a fetish... I won't deny that. But, but, well, it's a way to deny myself pleasure. If he's locked in chastity, I can't have sex with him. (Well, DUH! Merry!) Only, right now, it's more than that.
Just in case there's a new reader, I'll explain: I enjoy sex with Shilo. Better explained, I Love sex with Shilo. It didn't start that way, but it didn't take long for it to happen. Now that it happened, I think I could engage in intercourse daily, or, maybe even a few times day with him, and I'd still enjoy it. It didn't take him long to learn how to please me. He's pretty much spoiled me for anyone else. That last (previous) sentence sums it up. I'm guilty of silently comparing. I'm too polite to do it out loud, but I catch myself doing it. I want Shilo. I don't want Stitch, or Sherman, or anyone else. I won't turn down Stitch, but he rarely pursues me anyway, and, as for Sherman, he's pretty much decided to be celibate. Not complaining... I'm not particularly interested anyway.
So, back to Shilo's chastity: Due to many reasons (the heat, his indigestion, possibly even his age) Shilo has not been initiating much sex with me lately. Even though I (logically) understand why, there's nagging in the back of my head telling me that I don't turn him on, he doesn't want me, etc; etc. It's really destroying me. It causes me to feel sad and unloved. It sucks! This isn't his fault, and no amount of logic takes away the bad feelings. I needed a solution, and I needed it fast. The only solution I could think of was for me to put him in chastity, because if he's in chastity, he can't have sex with me. This way, I can blame the chastity, and not all the unreasonable feelings I'm having. The twisted logic causes me to feel just a little bit better.
The bad part of this is that I think maybe Shilo might feel punished, and that is not a desired side effect. Anyway, I think my reasoning is clear. Not Shilo's fault, and shutting out feelings of self-doubt.
Well hmmm.
ReplyDeleteI do NOT feel punished. I mean, it IS a fetish, after all.
Admittedly, I WAS curious... as to why you asked (told..) me to 'put on chastity', as you described it, before GOING TO WORK.
I mean, what the hell... what good or bad does it do either one of us for me to be 'enchaste' at work?
What woulda make sense: for you to say, "when you get home from work, lock it up.."
THAT, I would have completely understood.
At any rate, we talked THAT one to death, and I understand your (lack of) reasoning (for asking me to lock it up before going to work).
Chastity IS a fetish, for both of us.
It makes me just a bit more ...or a lot more... aroused, for lack of a better word. Those little erections that just kinda come and go, that I don't usually really notice, I REALLY notice when I'm enchaste.
Or waking up with painful morning wood.
It's all kind of erotic.
And ... I have been known to masturbate... just for the hell of it ...when the mood strikes me... not recently, of course, not without your permission... but being enchaste means I CAN'T ... and there's a feeling of helplessness and being controlled associated with that, which I enjoy.
Now here is the absolute truth. This weather... the heat and humidity in our house... has SAPPED my sexual energy. I have zero interest in making body to body contact with another person when I have so much problem with my own legs sticking together when they touch. There's like a two hour window at night...before dawn... when the house might be cool enough for a close encounter... we may have to set our alarm for it!
And on a final note WTF do you mean by "...even his age..." ??
well you are pushing 60 after all!
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