Mister Temperamental is just that. Temperamental.
Mister Temperamental holds things in.
Mister Temperamental becomes sullen when he is angry.
Mister Temperamental holds grudges.
Mister Temperamental wants what he wants when he wants it.
Mister Temperamental probably thinks this is about him.
Mister Temperamental misunderstands things and blows up.
Mister Temperamental can be a know-it-all.
Mister Temperamental can be sweet and loving when he isn't temperamental.
Mister Temperamental unintentionally burns bridges.
Mister Temperamental is really insecure.
Mister Temperamental is NOT a bad person.
Mister Temperamental is unhappy, but he's not sure why.
Mister Temperamental wants everyone else to be miserable as well.
Mister Temperamental has many wonderful qualities that others can't see.
Mister Temperamental is sometimes offensive.
Mister Temperamental will defend the honor of those he Loves.
Mister Temperamental isn't one person, he is many, and some are a she.
Mister Temperamental is ALL of us at one time or another.
How many of you see yourself in this?
Showing posts with label Twisted logic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Twisted logic. Show all posts
Monday, December 18, 2017
Tuesday, March 7, 2017
Solution? Opinions? (3-7-2017)
Donna has always been there for me. Yes, she's a bull terrier
mix AKA: A pitbull, but she helps with my SAD and PTSD. People are
afraid of her, but I feel it's their problem. Then I discovered the following:
The letter should state that:
The legal protections an Emotional Support Animal (ESA) has are to:
That means if they have a "cats only" policy, they must accept your service dog. If they have a policy that allows dogs weighing no more than 30 lbs. and your emotional support animal (ESA) weighs 75 lbs., they must make a change in the rules to accommodate you. If they accept all dogs, except pit bulls, and you have a pit bull, they must allow your pit bull to reside with you.
Done and DONE! Input? Opinions?
What Is An Emotional Support Animal (ESA)?
An emotional support animal (ESA) is a person's pet that has been prescribed by a person's licensed therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist (any licensed mental health professional). The animal is part of the treatment program for this person and is designed to bring comfort and minimize the negative symptoms of the person's emotional/psychological disability.What Animals Qualify To Be An ESA?
All domesticated animals may qualify as an ESA (cats, dog, mice, rabbits, birds, snakes, hedgehogs, rats, mini pigs, ferrets, etc.) and they can be any age (young puppies and kittens, too!). These animals do not need any specific task-training because their very presence mitigates the symptoms associated with a person's psychological/emotional disability, unlike a working service dog. The only requirement is that the animal is manageable in public and does not create a nuisance in or around the home setting.How To Qualify
For a person to legally qualify for an emotional support animal(ESA), he/she must be considered emotionally disabled by a licensed mental health professional (therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, etc.), as evidenced by a properly formatted prescription letter. Typically, a medical doctor does not qualify because they are not a licensed mental health professional. Some airlines and property managers will accept a verification form completed by a family doctor, however.The letter should state that:
1. You are currently his/her patient.
2. Are under his/her care for the treatment of mental disability found in the DSM IV or V (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, version 4 or 5).
3. Your disability substantially limits at least one major life activity.
4. He/she prescribes for you an emotional support animal as a necessary treatment for your mental health.In addition, the letter must be dated, written on his/her letterhead, include his/her license type, number, date of license, and state in which the license was issued.
What Are Your Legal Protections and Rights?
The Air Carrier Access Act 49 U.S.C. 41705, Dept. of Transportation 14 C.F.R. Part 382, Fair Housing Amendments Act of 1988 are the laws that protect an emotionally disabled person and his/her ESA.The legal protections an Emotional Support Animal (ESA) has are to:
1. Fly with its emotionally or psychologically disabled handler in the cabin of an aircraft without being charged a pet fee.
2. Qualify for no-pet housing (that also includes limited size, breed, or species housing) without being charged a pet fee.
Housing Rights and Your Service or Emotional Support Animal
If a person is physically impaired (disabled) and has individually trained service dog to perform a major life task that the person has trouble performing for him or herself (or an emotional support animal prescribed by a licensed mental health professional), the Fair Housing Amendments Act of 1988 requires the landlord/property manager to make a reasonable accommodation to their policies and allow the tenant to have an emotional support animal. This includes species, breed, and weight policies.That means if they have a "cats only" policy, they must accept your service dog. If they have a policy that allows dogs weighing no more than 30 lbs. and your emotional support animal (ESA) weighs 75 lbs., they must make a change in the rules to accommodate you. If they accept all dogs, except pit bulls, and you have a pit bull, they must allow your pit bull to reside with you.
Documentation Required For Emotional Support Animals
The one requirement for a person to legally qualify for an emotional support animal (ESA) is that the person has a letter from a licensed mental health professional (therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist -NOT the family doctor) on his/her letterhead that states the person is under his/her care, is emotionally or psychiatrically disabled, and prescribes for the person an emotional support animal. Without this letter, if the person presents an animal as an ESA, he/she is in violation of federal law; an offense punishable by fine and imprisonment, if convicted.Verification May Be Required By Property Managers
These laws allows a property manager to accept a letter from the
tenant's licensed mental health professional (LMHP) for an ESA, but they
may also require a verification form to be completed by a physician or
LMHP, confirming the tenant's physical/emotional/psychiatric disability.
Despite how much the property manager/landlord does NOT want your
service dog or emotional support animal, federal law requires him/her to
make a reasonable accommodation in the rules. If they do not, they are
discriminating against a disabled person and are in violation of federal
law. Here is a link to a government document (one of many) that
addresses this issue. See the 3rd page, second column): http://www.hud.gov/offices/fheo/FINALRULE/Pet_Ownership_Final_Rule.pdf
Examples and Specific Rules
So how do Fair Housing laws apply to real life situations? Here are some examples:John has been diagnosed with severe depression and is disabled as defined by the Fair Housing Act. His doctor prescribes John a dog to help alleviate some of his symptoms. John asks his landlord if he can have a dog as a reasonable accommodation for his disability. His landlord says yes, but tells John he'll need to pay a $250 pet deposit and must provide proof that the animal is trained.
Question: Did John's landlord correctly handle John's request under the Fair Housing Act? What if John wanted a cat or a ferret instead?
Answer: No, John's landlord did not handle his request correctly. The landlord cannot charge John a pet deposit for his animal because it is not a pet, but rather emotional support animal required for his emotional impairment. Further, the landlord cannot ask for proof that the animal is trained. Lastly, emotional support animals do not have to be just dogs; they can also be other animals, such as cats or ferrets (and many other species).Landlords cannot:
- Ask a tenant to pay a deposit, fee, or surcharge in exchange for having a service or emotional support animal, even if they require such a practice from owners who wish to obtain pets in their dwelling.
- Require that an emotional support animal have any specific training
- Require the emotional support animal to wear or carry any special collar, harness, vest, emblem, or other means of identifying it as such.
- Inquire about the extent of the disability, or ask for detailed medical records for the individual requesting the service or emotional support animal.
- Refuse to accommodate you and your animal because their insurance policy won't allow a species, breed, or weight. They are still subject to the law.
- A person with a disability may, however, be charged for damages caused to the premises by their emotional support or service animal.
- A disabled person who does not properly manage his/her unruly, destructive, aggressive, or disturbance causing animal can be evicted.
What To Do When a Property Manager Refuses To Comply
Failure to accommodate a physically or emotionally impaired person is a violation of federal law and can be successfully sued AND the landlord/property manager financially penalized by the U.S. Justice Dept. because it is considered discrimination against a disabled person. Something the government takes seriously.1. Clients are encouraged to make sure the landlord or property manager are clearly aware of the law and consequences to help them avoid prosecution and punitive damages. Most are in violation simply because they do not know the law. The U.S. Justice Dept. does not consider the property manager's lack of awareness when they prosecute them, however.
2. A client can report the landlord/property manager to the U.S. Justice Dept. and file a complaint for discrimination.
3. A client may sue the landlord/property manager for discrimination.You'll need to be prepared to reinforce your position and case with supplemental documentation from a physician or mental health professional that verifies your need for the animal.
Done and DONE! Input? Opinions?
Tuesday, February 7, 2017
Gangbangs and Other Things That Go BUMP! In The Night
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Wednesday, December 21, 2016
Well, THAT was different!
Ever since I fractured my humerus in two places (#1
halfway between the elbow and shoulder straight across. #2 The ball
portion of the shoulder straight down which was tiny but more serious.)
I've had issues with pain management. At first, the medication (50mg of
Tramadol every 8 hours) kept my pain level to a 3, but also put me to
sleep most of the time. When it hit the two week mark, my pain was at
an 8 with the Tramadol, so I added 500mg of naprosyn every 8 hours as
well. That meant I was up every 4 hours, taking either one or the other.
That kept me at 5 for about a week, but then it shot back up to an 8.
When my pain is at an 8, I can't concentrate, I'm irritable, and I cry.
(probably due to depression) Horrible thoughts go through my head as
well.
Several years ago, a dear (vanilla) friend got injured, and to cope
with the pain, she turned to alcohol and drugs. My mind went there many
times. "Take a shot or two of brandy, it won't hurt." I wasn't able to
drive (I'm still not) so I would invent ways in my head to get some, but
I never followed through. Still, my pain was at an 8, so I stopped
taking the medication altogether for about 10 days, knowing my tolerance
for the medication would decrease and it would work better. I went
10-14 days with the medication and 10 days off. Nobody should have to
live like that!
Getting a frozen shoulder as a complication due to my diabetes only made things worse. I'd cry at PT, and spend the next 48 hours in my recliner, only getting up to use the bathroom. I used Ben Gay, heating pads, and take the pain meds. It was ineffective at best. My entire life revolves around my pain and how it affects everyone around me. I'm rarely pleasant, and it's difficult to be polite when I can't take a shower without assistance. I understand. I know it's a horrible chore to bathe me and wash my hair. I used to do that as a job in a rehab center, and later, at an AIDS hospice. I was required to bathe my patients daily, and I'm lucky if it gets done to me 3 times a week. (YUCK!!!)
Misery loves company, so I sometimes vent on my status update. I guess it was a month ago, a friend suggested I try CBD for pain management. This requires a prescription for medical marijuana in California. I haven't smoked/used marijuana in about 35 years. I sat on this and debated until about a week ago. I had a long detailed discussion with Shilo and Stitch about what this would mean, and risks associated with it for me. We agreed that the benefits outweighed the risks. My next step was to google doctors who prescribed medical marijuana. I found one that was semi-local to me, and he had good ratings. The price for a visit wasn't horribly bad, so I made plans to go on Friday. (12-16)
There were 2 other people in the waiting room when I signed in. I sat and waited about 30 minutes. I had my most recent lab work with me along with questions. Whenever I see a doctor, I expect a short exam followed by questions. I also expect to see a live person who is concerned with my well-being. Imagine my surprise when I was sat in front of a computer and talked to a doctor via Skype! I was even more shocked (appalled!) when he asked me how much pot I was currently smoking! This guy was off to bad start already. His laughing and jokes made me even more uncomfortable. He was even more surprised when I asked him about edibles ("Don't worry, the people at the dispensary will answer all your questions." WTF???!!!) I felt cheated. Is this how it's really done? He told me I'd get my blood pressure taken and that I was approved. All I could think was Well, THAT was different! Then the receptionist told me that she didn't need my blood pressure and I paid her and got my prescription that was good for one year. Honestly, I'm surprised that there aren't stricter laws for getting a prescription. Maybe I'm old school, but this was definitely hinky.
I was kind of relieved that when we got to the dispensary a few miles away it was tightly controlled. Still, she tried to sell me "flower" (fancy term for the green stuff) Again, I discussed edibles, and she showed me what they had. I bought something called Cheeba Chews on her recommendation and 2 salted caramels because it looked good. I know I only needed a little, so that was enough to last me a week.
Seeing a doctor via Skype is just a little too weird for me. He was unprofessional, and I doubt I would ever return.
The Cheeba Chews is just nasty tasting, but it's effective. I won't buy it anymore.
I like the salted caramel, and I only need half of one to be pain free for most of the day.
I think I'd rather stick to buying small edibles vs. the large ones (cookies, brownies, crispy bars)
The dispensary is almost too overwhelming for me.
I really think I need someone who is more experienced to assist me in picking out edibles that isn't an employee of the dispensary because there are too many choices.
Getting a frozen shoulder as a complication due to my diabetes only made things worse. I'd cry at PT, and spend the next 48 hours in my recliner, only getting up to use the bathroom. I used Ben Gay, heating pads, and take the pain meds. It was ineffective at best. My entire life revolves around my pain and how it affects everyone around me. I'm rarely pleasant, and it's difficult to be polite when I can't take a shower without assistance. I understand. I know it's a horrible chore to bathe me and wash my hair. I used to do that as a job in a rehab center, and later, at an AIDS hospice. I was required to bathe my patients daily, and I'm lucky if it gets done to me 3 times a week. (YUCK!!!)
Misery loves company, so I sometimes vent on my status update. I guess it was a month ago, a friend suggested I try CBD for pain management. This requires a prescription for medical marijuana in California. I haven't smoked/used marijuana in about 35 years. I sat on this and debated until about a week ago. I had a long detailed discussion with Shilo and Stitch about what this would mean, and risks associated with it for me. We agreed that the benefits outweighed the risks. My next step was to google doctors who prescribed medical marijuana. I found one that was semi-local to me, and he had good ratings. The price for a visit wasn't horribly bad, so I made plans to go on Friday. (12-16)
There were 2 other people in the waiting room when I signed in. I sat and waited about 30 minutes. I had my most recent lab work with me along with questions. Whenever I see a doctor, I expect a short exam followed by questions. I also expect to see a live person who is concerned with my well-being. Imagine my surprise when I was sat in front of a computer and talked to a doctor via Skype! I was even more shocked (appalled!) when he asked me how much pot I was currently smoking! This guy was off to bad start already. His laughing and jokes made me even more uncomfortable. He was even more surprised when I asked him about edibles ("Don't worry, the people at the dispensary will answer all your questions." WTF???!!!) I felt cheated. Is this how it's really done? He told me I'd get my blood pressure taken and that I was approved. All I could think was Well, THAT was different! Then the receptionist told me that she didn't need my blood pressure and I paid her and got my prescription that was good for one year. Honestly, I'm surprised that there aren't stricter laws for getting a prescription. Maybe I'm old school, but this was definitely hinky.
I was kind of relieved that when we got to the dispensary a few miles away it was tightly controlled. Still, she tried to sell me "flower" (fancy term for the green stuff) Again, I discussed edibles, and she showed me what they had. I bought something called Cheeba Chews on her recommendation and 2 salted caramels because it looked good. I know I only needed a little, so that was enough to last me a week.
My Assessment:
Seeing a doctor via Skype is just a little too weird for me. He was unprofessional, and I doubt I would ever return.
The Cheeba Chews is just nasty tasting, but it's effective. I won't buy it anymore.
I like the salted caramel, and I only need half of one to be pain free for most of the day.
I think I'd rather stick to buying small edibles vs. the large ones (cookies, brownies, crispy bars)
The dispensary is almost too overwhelming for me.
I really think I need someone who is more experienced to assist me in picking out edibles that isn't an employee of the dispensary because there are too many choices.
ADDENDUM:
No, I will not name the doctor or the dispensary.Tuesday, August 4, 2015
The Envelope Please...
A few days ago, I made an offhand comment about using an envelope with an activity inside for those occasional Tuesday mornings when I'm awake and in a good mood, and Shilo is feeling energetic enough for some "fun" activity.
Much to my chagrin, and Shilo's (no doubt) lack of surprise, it's about 3AM on Tuesday and still no envelopes in sight. I fell asleep on the chair in the living room, and nothing got done. I should mention that Shilo is probably unaware that I loaded the dishwasher while he slept on Monday afternoon. I'm not seeking 'brownie points' by any means, I'm more interested in rocking his world a little.
Shilo has been locked in chastity for 8 days now (Actually 7 days 10 1/2 hours, but who's counting? Oh yeah! He is!) and I'm pretty sure that when the device went on, he didn't expect it to be on for such a long amount of time. I suffer along with him. I mean, no intercourse for him, means no intercourse with him for me, and I happen to enjoy intercourse with him, so I do 'suffer.'
The tease and denial for him has been horribly cruel, with him removing the device, showering, providing me with a few orgasms via oral stimulation, and allowing him to enter me, thrust for maybe a minute or so (7 thrusts the first day, 15 the next. Yeah, I count) and then re-locking him. I cannot begin to tell you how torturous it's been for me, and I'm sure he feels the same.
Sooo... the (nonexistent) envelopes: I have no time or patience to do them now, but a quick preview should he happen to see this is as follows:
1. Triple treat for me while restrained (or not) until I pass out. This will require a slow build up, backing off, and building back up again. Not an easy task, but I know he's up for it.
2. Shilo unlocking and showering, giving WMS short of an orgasm if possible (I won't stop him, he'll have to stop on his own.) If he manages without an orgasm, he won't get "charged" with time off from chastity for doing so. if he fails, and has an orgasm, I will add up to another week in chastity for him at my discretion. If he has a 'ruined orgasm,' I will roll a die. Odd: no additional days, Even: Same as if he had a regular orgasm. He will not be told the result.
3. Shilo unlocking and showering, and me orally pleasuring him for 5-10 minutes. (This doesn't usually result in an orgasm for him)
4. Shilo unlocking and showering, and then masturbating while I watch him. Same rules as #2 above if he reaches orgasm.
5. Shilo unlocking and showering, and I hand him a die. if he rolls odd, he can choose from any of the above (more to be added later) If he rolls even, he locks back up and gives me my regular "Daily O."
So, there it is: The treats, without the envelopes.
The only thing I neglected to mention here is that I will know which option is available on any given week, and he will have the choice of taking the activity or not without knowing which one is offered. Also, after agreeing to the unknown activity, he will roll a die. If it's 1-3, the activity will not happen, if he rolls 4-6, the activity will happen. This way, I also get a little build-up as well.
Goodnight! I'm off to bed!
Much to my chagrin, and Shilo's (no doubt) lack of surprise, it's about 3AM on Tuesday and still no envelopes in sight. I fell asleep on the chair in the living room, and nothing got done. I should mention that Shilo is probably unaware that I loaded the dishwasher while he slept on Monday afternoon. I'm not seeking 'brownie points' by any means, I'm more interested in rocking his world a little.
Shilo has been locked in chastity for 8 days now (Actually 7 days 10 1/2 hours, but who's counting? Oh yeah! He is!) and I'm pretty sure that when the device went on, he didn't expect it to be on for such a long amount of time. I suffer along with him. I mean, no intercourse for him, means no intercourse with him for me, and I happen to enjoy intercourse with him, so I do 'suffer.'
The tease and denial for him has been horribly cruel, with him removing the device, showering, providing me with a few orgasms via oral stimulation, and allowing him to enter me, thrust for maybe a minute or so (7 thrusts the first day, 15 the next. Yeah, I count) and then re-locking him. I cannot begin to tell you how torturous it's been for me, and I'm sure he feels the same.
Sooo... the (nonexistent) envelopes: I have no time or patience to do them now, but a quick preview should he happen to see this is as follows:
1. Triple treat for me while restrained (or not) until I pass out. This will require a slow build up, backing off, and building back up again. Not an easy task, but I know he's up for it.
2. Shilo unlocking and showering, giving WMS short of an orgasm if possible (I won't stop him, he'll have to stop on his own.) If he manages without an orgasm, he won't get "charged" with time off from chastity for doing so. if he fails, and has an orgasm, I will add up to another week in chastity for him at my discretion. If he has a 'ruined orgasm,' I will roll a die. Odd: no additional days, Even: Same as if he had a regular orgasm. He will not be told the result.
3. Shilo unlocking and showering, and me orally pleasuring him for 5-10 minutes. (This doesn't usually result in an orgasm for him)
4. Shilo unlocking and showering, and then masturbating while I watch him. Same rules as #2 above if he reaches orgasm.
5. Shilo unlocking and showering, and I hand him a die. if he rolls odd, he can choose from any of the above (more to be added later) If he rolls even, he locks back up and gives me my regular "Daily O."
So, there it is: The treats, without the envelopes.
The only thing I neglected to mention here is that I will know which option is available on any given week, and he will have the choice of taking the activity or not without knowing which one is offered. Also, after agreeing to the unknown activity, he will roll a die. If it's 1-3, the activity will not happen, if he rolls 4-6, the activity will happen. This way, I also get a little build-up as well.
Goodnight! I'm off to bed!
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
Calming effect
The simplest things can have a calming effect on me, A hug, a smile, a well-timed phone call, a spanking... As introverted and antisocial as I am, I still need those 'strokes' to get me out of myself. I will often let tiny things take over and destroy me. Yeah, it's personal.
I dissect things constantly. It's my nature to do so. I want to see what's inside of things, especially me. I carefully dissect others, and work hard to put things back exactly as I found them. With myself, I rip and tear with gleeful abandon, forgetting that my duty to myself is to nurture and love myself, because I'm really the only one who can 'fix' me. That last sentence was courtesy of my damned self-awareness that makes my psychiatrist/therapist so proud of me. (grumbles) Okay, so I'm careful with others, not so much with myself. I allow my worries and feelings to get the better of me. I panic, I worry, and I go into this awful feeling of self-loathing. Then I drop, and I drop hard.
I wish my understanding all this made it easier on me, but, dammit! It makes it worse. I have miserable, stupid pity parties that manage to confuse everyone around me. "Oh, is that what got you worked up? Why that's nothing!" I want to scream out loud and say "Sure! To you it's nothing, to me, its a fucking disaster!" Fortunately, I learned how to bite my tongue a long time ago. Good thing, too, or I wouldn't have any friends!
So, anyway, I spent a huge portion of my day yesterday in bed feeling sorry for myself, wondering where and how I managed to fuck things up. Yes, I always blame myself. It's just how I am. I finally wrote about it to get it out of my system, and when my head finally hit the pillow about 4 this morning, I was feeling a little better.
When I got out of bed about noon, I had even pretty much resolved that I had overreacted as usual, and that there had to be a logical explanation as to why I didn't get a response. I mean, I know Spike. He wouldn't just outright ignore a request without good reason or an explanation. Sure enough, when I checked my phone, there was a test from him saying he was fine, and he didn't receive the text I sent him on Friday. Yes, this is good and a relief, but now I'm second-guessing myself, worrying that my emotional overreaction will scare him away. Again, with the tearing myself apart!
it's not Spike's job to reassure me that I'm okay. It's my job to tell myself that this overreacting is a bit much, and I need to relax. Whatever happens, happens. It's not the end of the world. It is whatever it's meant to be, and I have to stop tearing myself apart. Life goes on. Life will go on whether or not I've fucked up, and I have to quit worrying. All worrying will do is make me miserable all over again.
So, yes, I feel better, calmer. Now I just have to relax and not worry about what might happen next.
I dissect things constantly. It's my nature to do so. I want to see what's inside of things, especially me. I carefully dissect others, and work hard to put things back exactly as I found them. With myself, I rip and tear with gleeful abandon, forgetting that my duty to myself is to nurture and love myself, because I'm really the only one who can 'fix' me. That last sentence was courtesy of my damned self-awareness that makes my psychiatrist/therapist so proud of me. (grumbles) Okay, so I'm careful with others, not so much with myself. I allow my worries and feelings to get the better of me. I panic, I worry, and I go into this awful feeling of self-loathing. Then I drop, and I drop hard.
I wish my understanding all this made it easier on me, but, dammit! It makes it worse. I have miserable, stupid pity parties that manage to confuse everyone around me. "Oh, is that what got you worked up? Why that's nothing!" I want to scream out loud and say "Sure! To you it's nothing, to me, its a fucking disaster!" Fortunately, I learned how to bite my tongue a long time ago. Good thing, too, or I wouldn't have any friends!
So, anyway, I spent a huge portion of my day yesterday in bed feeling sorry for myself, wondering where and how I managed to fuck things up. Yes, I always blame myself. It's just how I am. I finally wrote about it to get it out of my system, and when my head finally hit the pillow about 4 this morning, I was feeling a little better.
When I got out of bed about noon, I had even pretty much resolved that I had overreacted as usual, and that there had to be a logical explanation as to why I didn't get a response. I mean, I know Spike. He wouldn't just outright ignore a request without good reason or an explanation. Sure enough, when I checked my phone, there was a test from him saying he was fine, and he didn't receive the text I sent him on Friday. Yes, this is good and a relief, but now I'm second-guessing myself, worrying that my emotional overreaction will scare him away. Again, with the tearing myself apart!
it's not Spike's job to reassure me that I'm okay. It's my job to tell myself that this overreacting is a bit much, and I need to relax. Whatever happens, happens. It's not the end of the world. It is whatever it's meant to be, and I have to stop tearing myself apart. Life goes on. Life will go on whether or not I've fucked up, and I have to quit worrying. All worrying will do is make me miserable all over again.
So, yes, I feel better, calmer. Now I just have to relax and not worry about what might happen next.
Saturday, May 30, 2015
What's In A Name?
I think I've explained my anomic aphasia enough times, but if you are confused, You may read about it in the following link:
http://keepcalmanddowhatmerrytellsyou.blogspot.com/2014/03/im-not-stupid-nor-am-i-confused-3-6-2014.html
My anomic aphasia is the main reason I call Shilo, Shilo and Stitch, Stitch instead of using their given names. I realized a long time ago, I'm more likely to remember a name or nickname if I give it to the person.
Whenever I start a D/s relationship, I give the submissive a 'new' name, using the rules that it must start with the letter 'S' and be 4 to 6 letters long with no more than 2 syllables. I've used that rule since the early 90's before I knew what anomic aphasia was. I also never re-use names for another. So, Spot, Sparky, Spanky, (Cum)Slut, Soft (Kitty), Shilo or Stitch never need to worry I'll re-use their names for another. There have been others that I didn't use the name rule for, such as Nick-E, Mister Ed, and a few that already had a perfectly good name in place already.
So, time goes on, and people change. Many moons ago, in a previous life I was known as "Susie," but Merry and the various spellings took over in 2004 after a series of unpleasant events. I feel that as time goes by and events change us and our way of thinking, a new name might be in order, but after a long hiatus, a new name is a necessity. For instance, if Mister Ed returned, he would definitely need a new name! Even mentioning his name leaves me wondering... He's pushing 80 now, and it's been about 15 years since we last spoke. So those of you who are just dying to know who has come back into my life now know it's not him. But no more hints!
So, for the past few days, I've referred to a horse, long ago put to pasture as the Horse that needs new name. Well, after much thought, I've come up with what I consider to be the 'perfect' name for him. He will either discover it if he reads it here, or when we talk next week. Much thought went into this name, and after I present the name, I will explain why I chose it. Here goes... (are you as nervous and excited as I am?)
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I will be calling him Spike! Why Spike? Well here are a few things about the word Spike:
Spike: noun
Spike: transitive verb
to add vitality, zest, or spice to: liven (and that is my hope for him in my life)
I realize that by calling him Spike, it means I have high hopes and expectations for him and he might not live up to that transitive verb, but I've named others in hopes of their potential, and I was not disappointed. Wanting a little vitality in my life isn't too much to hope for. Understanding that he has a new vitality that he hasn't had in a long time is another reason for that name.
http://keepcalmanddowhatmerrytellsyou.blogspot.com/2014/03/im-not-stupid-nor-am-i-confused-3-6-2014.html
My anomic aphasia is the main reason I call Shilo, Shilo and Stitch, Stitch instead of using their given names. I realized a long time ago, I'm more likely to remember a name or nickname if I give it to the person.
Whenever I start a D/s relationship, I give the submissive a 'new' name, using the rules that it must start with the letter 'S' and be 4 to 6 letters long with no more than 2 syllables. I've used that rule since the early 90's before I knew what anomic aphasia was. I also never re-use names for another. So, Spot, Sparky, Spanky, (Cum)Slut, Soft (Kitty), Shilo or Stitch never need to worry I'll re-use their names for another. There have been others that I didn't use the name rule for, such as Nick-E, Mister Ed, and a few that already had a perfectly good name in place already.
So, time goes on, and people change. Many moons ago, in a previous life I was known as "Susie," but Merry and the various spellings took over in 2004 after a series of unpleasant events. I feel that as time goes by and events change us and our way of thinking, a new name might be in order, but after a long hiatus, a new name is a necessity. For instance, if Mister Ed returned, he would definitely need a new name! Even mentioning his name leaves me wondering... He's pushing 80 now, and it's been about 15 years since we last spoke. So those of you who are just dying to know who has come back into my life now know it's not him. But no more hints!
So, for the past few days, I've referred to a horse, long ago put to pasture as the Horse that needs new name. Well, after much thought, I've come up with what I consider to be the 'perfect' name for him. He will either discover it if he reads it here, or when we talk next week. Much thought went into this name, and after I present the name, I will explain why I chose it. Here goes... (are you as nervous and excited as I am?)
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I will be calling him Spike! Why Spike? Well here are a few things about the word Spike:
Spike: noun
a very large nail (very fitting: He is tall and sharp)
Synonyms:
jab, pierce, spear,
impale (my heart felt all those things when I put him out to pasture)
Spike: transitive verb
to add vitality, zest, or spice to: liven (and that is my hope for him in my life)
I realize that by calling him Spike, it means I have high hopes and expectations for him and he might not live up to that transitive verb, but I've named others in hopes of their potential, and I was not disappointed. Wanting a little vitality in my life isn't too much to hope for. Understanding that he has a new vitality that he hasn't had in a long time is another reason for that name.
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Me and That Damned Saddle!
"Back in the saddle again": Riding the horse you either fell off of, or getting on a horse you've ridden in the past, but not for a long time. Either one is quite an accomplishment, because it takes a certain amount of bravery or foolhardiness to do it. I mean, you just never know. What if the literal or figurative horse bucks, or gets skittish? What if you can no longer find your comfort zone? What if you discover you no longer enjoy riding that horse? So many fears, so many "What ifs."
So, I have this horse... I have a saddle, and I'm getting ready to put the saddle on the horse. I know I'm going to get in that saddle, but there are still questions. Simple ones, like will I just sit and not ride, or will I ride it? How long will I ride it? Will I ride that horse into the sunset?
Yeah, I know I'm getting way too worked up over this horse, but it was a much-loved horse that I enjoyed riding, and it's been a really long time since I rode it. You see, I put that horse out to pasture a long time ago, only to discover recently that this horse was fit for riding again. It's a special, one-of-a-kind horse. A horse of a different color.
I laugh a little when I think of that beloved horse, because it was the smartest horse I ever rode, up until then, and I've ridden other horses since, some that were stubborn as mules, others that were much younger than that horse. But all of the others are gone, save for the smartest horse ever until this point. That one I keep. So I now have the smartest horse ever, and this other horse that is coming in from out of the pasture that used to be the smartest horse, but will now be considered the second smartest one. One did not replace the other, nor will it replace the other. After all, they're horses.
I think that waiting on this horse to arrive is going to be making me crazy. Yee-haw!
So, I have this horse... I have a saddle, and I'm getting ready to put the saddle on the horse. I know I'm going to get in that saddle, but there are still questions. Simple ones, like will I just sit and not ride, or will I ride it? How long will I ride it? Will I ride that horse into the sunset?
Yeah, I know I'm getting way too worked up over this horse, but it was a much-loved horse that I enjoyed riding, and it's been a really long time since I rode it. You see, I put that horse out to pasture a long time ago, only to discover recently that this horse was fit for riding again. It's a special, one-of-a-kind horse. A horse of a different color.
I laugh a little when I think of that beloved horse, because it was the smartest horse I ever rode, up until then, and I've ridden other horses since, some that were stubborn as mules, others that were much younger than that horse. But all of the others are gone, save for the smartest horse ever until this point. That one I keep. So I now have the smartest horse ever, and this other horse that is coming in from out of the pasture that used to be the smartest horse, but will now be considered the second smartest one. One did not replace the other, nor will it replace the other. After all, they're horses.
I think that waiting on this horse to arrive is going to be making me crazy. Yee-haw!
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Of Interest
http://wannabespankee.tumblr.com/post/33971933681/oneyear
I honestly cannot comment without giggling for oh-so-many reasons, most of which have nothing to do with me.
I honestly cannot comment without giggling for oh-so-many reasons, most of which have nothing to do with me.
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Why?
Why did I lock Shilo in chastity? Or, rather, why did I have Shilo lock himself in chastity? Yes, it's a fetish... I won't deny that. But, but, well, it's a way to deny myself pleasure. If he's locked in chastity, I can't have sex with him. (Well, DUH! Merry!) Only, right now, it's more than that.
Just in case there's a new reader, I'll explain: I enjoy sex with Shilo. Better explained, I Love sex with Shilo. It didn't start that way, but it didn't take long for it to happen. Now that it happened, I think I could engage in intercourse daily, or, maybe even a few times day with him, and I'd still enjoy it. It didn't take him long to learn how to please me. He's pretty much spoiled me for anyone else. That last (previous) sentence sums it up. I'm guilty of silently comparing. I'm too polite to do it out loud, but I catch myself doing it. I want Shilo. I don't want Stitch, or Sherman, or anyone else. I won't turn down Stitch, but he rarely pursues me anyway, and, as for Sherman, he's pretty much decided to be celibate. Not complaining... I'm not particularly interested anyway.
So, back to Shilo's chastity: Due to many reasons (the heat, his indigestion, possibly even his age) Shilo has not been initiating much sex with me lately. Even though I (logically) understand why, there's nagging in the back of my head telling me that I don't turn him on, he doesn't want me, etc; etc. It's really destroying me. It causes me to feel sad and unloved. It sucks! This isn't his fault, and no amount of logic takes away the bad feelings. I needed a solution, and I needed it fast. The only solution I could think of was for me to put him in chastity, because if he's in chastity, he can't have sex with me. This way, I can blame the chastity, and not all the unreasonable feelings I'm having. The twisted logic causes me to feel just a little bit better.
The bad part of this is that I think maybe Shilo might feel punished, and that is not a desired side effect. Anyway, I think my reasoning is clear. Not Shilo's fault, and shutting out feelings of self-doubt.
Just in case there's a new reader, I'll explain: I enjoy sex with Shilo. Better explained, I Love sex with Shilo. It didn't start that way, but it didn't take long for it to happen. Now that it happened, I think I could engage in intercourse daily, or, maybe even a few times day with him, and I'd still enjoy it. It didn't take him long to learn how to please me. He's pretty much spoiled me for anyone else. That last (previous) sentence sums it up. I'm guilty of silently comparing. I'm too polite to do it out loud, but I catch myself doing it. I want Shilo. I don't want Stitch, or Sherman, or anyone else. I won't turn down Stitch, but he rarely pursues me anyway, and, as for Sherman, he's pretty much decided to be celibate. Not complaining... I'm not particularly interested anyway.
So, back to Shilo's chastity: Due to many reasons (the heat, his indigestion, possibly even his age) Shilo has not been initiating much sex with me lately. Even though I (logically) understand why, there's nagging in the back of my head telling me that I don't turn him on, he doesn't want me, etc; etc. It's really destroying me. It causes me to feel sad and unloved. It sucks! This isn't his fault, and no amount of logic takes away the bad feelings. I needed a solution, and I needed it fast. The only solution I could think of was for me to put him in chastity, because if he's in chastity, he can't have sex with me. This way, I can blame the chastity, and not all the unreasonable feelings I'm having. The twisted logic causes me to feel just a little bit better.
The bad part of this is that I think maybe Shilo might feel punished, and that is not a desired side effect. Anyway, I think my reasoning is clear. Not Shilo's fault, and shutting out feelings of self-doubt.
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