Here was the challenge:
Dominas everywhere, show us your power and take over Fetlife,... and dedicate it around or to the best womanly representation of Strength you can find.Yes, I removed a large portion of that sentence, but WTF???!!!
Here was my answer, and I'm sharing it because I need to see my own words to remind myself:
My opinion (and only my opinion) is that the beauty of a woman's strength is that it doesn't need a display. Why do we "need" to show it and put it on display? It just 'is', and as such, requires no show or depiction. I'm my strongest when I appear to be vulnerable to others. Being able to share my ugly and less-than-stellar moments are a huge part of my strength. Apologizing when I'm wrong and admitting it shows my strength. Being unafraid to share my failures and take responsibility for them shows my strength. Taking ridicule from others who can't possibly fathom my situation shows my strength. Allowing myself to cry and having Shilo (or Stitch, or both of them) hold me as I do so shows my strength. I don't have to wear my boots, or crack a whip, or wield a cane to prove myself as a Dominant. I don't have to yell or be loud or act rude to be Dominant either. Many times it's a mere whisper that shows my Dominance. A "please" or "thank you", or even my politest sounding orders show it.
Don't call me Domina, or Goddess,or any other feminine sounding title. I don't need it. Just call me Merry, and stop looking so hard. I'm right here in plain sight, and I don't want or need your rally cry to show myself. I'd rather just sit quietly and smile as I observe others go to ridiculous lengths to 'prove' themselves.
Well said! The author of that 'challenge' was clearly male.
ReplyDeleteIt's a variation of "be yourself...........as long it's what I expect of you".
And that's my problem with men who see themselves as submissive.
ReplyDeleteThey want all the bells and whistles and can't comprehend why I'd prefer they look at my handiwork shown on Shilo's pictures, or watch a sample on our C4S site, or even ask for references and vetting me.
I live in the Los Angeles area. I've been active there for over 5 years. People I don't know will come to me at munches and ask me if I'm ContraryMerry on FetLife. I'm not that hard to find, so why should I have to do more?
I wonder sometimes if I'm as submissive as some Dominants would want? It's not a natural inclination for me in some ways, but definitely in others. I have found though that the Dominant's style is more of a trigger for me than my own desires. A properly turned phrase can have me on my knees with puppy-dog devotion, but the wrong tone can prompt me to display my own 'dominance'. I don't submit out of weakness. It's a choice and one that can be revoked. (A former D/s lover once told me she saw me as a lion that she tamed knowing I could be more powerful if I resisted.............and that THRILLED her!)
DeleteBut I got off topic. I do get what YOU are saying.
When it comes to submissive men, I want a man that is masculine but not macho. I also want him to be strong and strong-willed. Attractive (to me) is nice as well. I won't lie, I like eye candy as much as the next person, but I prefer between 45-70, in good health, and willing to serve me. I'd rip the "young puppies" up on no time.
DeleteMost men, by the time they reach their late 40's, they know what they want, but are also able to differentiate fantasy from reality. However (and unfortunately) I've encountered men who have only seen pro-Dominants and they are the worst because they have this idea of how I "should" be, and let me tell you, I'm a huge disappointment.
They want me to do what they want to do, which is fie, but I expect pleasure as well, and I'm not talking sex. I'm a Sadist, so he should ideally be a 'heavy bottom' or a masochist. I don't go easy, and I want him to get some enjoyment from it. One man was upset that I didn't want him to jerk off in front of him. Another was insulted that I didn't get sexual pleasure from spanking, and I guess he wanted me to fall in love with him. It's just not how I work. 2 years later, and he's still looking. I bet he misses the chance he blew with me. My idea has always been that many older gentlemen never receive those spankings, so I want to give them a chance. Take them places, play with them, and then hand them off to another Dominant better suited for them.
I don't want a weak submissive. I don't want an asshole either. I want him to be enchanted by me. Well, not me, because I'm not much to look at, but my abilities, manners, and conversational skills. What I lack in looks I make up for in my Sadism. Now we're BOTH off topic, but it's MY blog, and I'm okay with it.
Nice explanation. I feel like I know you even better now. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteMy pleasure! You know you can ask me anything. Also, if you click to my profile, it has my email in case you're shy. ::gigglesnort::
DeleteHmm. In spite of everything Merry said she wants, she wound up married to me. How'd that happen?
ReplyDeleteYour "asshole" side only shows up at banks
Deleteand supermarket and Wal-mart....
DeleteYeah, those places too, but only AFTER we got married!
DeleteHmmm. AFTER we got married, I started having public explosions. Interesting, that.
DeleteProbably because you wanted to make a good impression.
Delete