Too Sleepy

Too sleepy to fall asleep. Too frustrated. Too sad. Too much work, and too much effort.

What are my desires?

Simple. I want a man who is able to communicate clearly and talks to me about his feelings. Someone who can simply say "I disagree, and here's why." Someone who actually listens and is able to pick up the nuances behind what I'm saying. Someone who will tell me the truth when I ask for it, but understands that, occasionally, I might have a WTF???!!! moment, but also realizes that I'll be calmer in a few hours once I process it. Someone who understands that sometimes I need processing time too. Someone who experiences and shares his emotions. ALL OF THEM. Someone who understands that I can be impulsive, but also realizes that I will present him in the best possible light even if I'm angry at him. I will clean up his 'messes' so he looks good. If he writes something that hurts, and it's in my power to remove it, I will. Not only for me, but so he looks good to others. Someone who is secure in the knowledge that I will Love and give till I'm fully spent. Someone who can be soft with me. Someone who Loves me in spite of my shortcomings. Someone who desires me because I Love him. Someone who feels devoted, not out of duty, but out of Love. Someone who understands that I'm currently doing a balancing act, and it gets harder by the day.

What are things that I find undesirable?

Petulance, passive-aggressiveness, coldness, whining, silence. I could go on, but I think anyone reading this would get the point.

What effect does those undesirable things have on me? They turn me into an insecure unhappy person who would rather be dead than go on in misery.

That's enough for now