Setting The Record Straight (An Open Letter To Shilo)

Dear Shilo,

Thank you for your honesty in your blogs. It helps me in assessing what is going on in your head, and it enables me to give feedback when necessary.

Yes, Sunshine has been out quite a bit. You already know that she's out when I'm very happy or excited or tired, but she also comes out when I'm sad or feel threatened. I'm glad she told you about my last entry. Your remarks about it allowed me to see what you don't see, and what Sunshine was worried about the most, you missed completely. This isn't a complaint, rather, it is a commentary on how bad off (depressed) you are.

I will be direct: I Love you, and I am in Love with you. Nothing will change that. NOTHING. Your "obligation" to me is to be honest, and to tell me about how you feel, and why you feel that way. My obligation is to listen to you, and hear you out. I don't know why you are depressed. I mean, I have a few ideas, but I am unsure of all the stuff. You need to bring it up (the depression) when I see the doctor today. Either that, or I will say something.

Now, back to my blog: You normally possess all those positive qualities I mentioned that I desire. PLUS a few I didn't mention. As for the undesirable qualities, I will admit that lately you've had a few (but not all) of them, but what had Sunshine upset, what she thought was bad, was the paragraph/sentences following that. I will quote:

"What effect does those undesirable things have on me? They turn me into an insecure unhappy person who would rather be dead than go on in misery."

That is perhaps the closest thing to a suicide note that I've ever written. She is/was afraid that I want to die. You missed that. It's okay, though. I have no intentions of offing myself. I made a promise to you, and I plan on keeping it. Even if you are depressed and acting difficult. My sense of responsibility will keep me going till I feel better. Till WE feel better.

I Love you so very much,
Merry

P.S. I could reply to a few of the complaints/remarks you made about my comments/new fetishes, but I also know that you are just having a hard time right now, and you wouldn't really be taking in the complete answers because your heart isn't really open, and you aren't ready for any fun activity anyway. We will discuss/do those things when you are feeling better.
M