Chastity, Cuckolding, and Other Such Things

I didn't start out with an interest in cuckolding, rather, it was a male submissive that brought it to the forefront about 2 years ago. He was a cuckold, and his wife decided that she was 'tired' of the 'hassle' that was involved with keeping him wanting more. Unfortunately, he wouldn't/couldn't give me the time that I expected of him. It was doomed, but it reawakened my interest in male chastity.

My interest in chastity started in 2007, about 3 years after I was the victim of a violent crime. It was in those early searches that I discovered male chastity groups, and, because of my honesty, and my voiced desire to actually go into chastity myself,  a few of the men took up my cause, and allowed me into their online group. I asked LOTS of questions, and they answered, and when work began on my chastity piercing, they cheered me on. From June, 2008 until January 2009, I endured 22 piercings (11 on each side) in my outer labia so I could get locked up. While it was not fun or pleasant, it was a Rite of Passage, and I grew from it. Unfortunately, I developed problems with the jewelry shifting, and one of the piercings rejecting, so in March, 2009, I had all 22 piercings redone. Did I mention that it was not fun? The pain and blood loss I endured gave me an inner strength that I still cannot explain to this day. By May, 2009, I noticed the shifting yet again, so I tearfully removed all my jewelry and gave up on ever being in chastity myself. I still have strange scarring where the piercings were. There are pictures floating about on the internet, but good luck finding them.

Anyway, during that time, I learned quite a bit about submissive males in chastity. I never expected it to become an interest of mine, and once I gave up on my chastity hopes, I stopped frequenting those groups. Then, with the cuckolded submissive, chastity was once more brought to the forefront. I occasionally would run into male submissives with chastity desires or cuckolding desires, but what bothered me about most of them is that they wanted penis humiliation. Then there were "bulls" who would often message me, offering to 'satisfy' me. WTF???!!! Not what I had in mind!

So, what exactly did I want? I wanted a male submissive who enjoyed (at least some of the time) being locked in chastity that didn't need or want penis size humiliation. My objection to penis humiliation has a lot to do with my ex-husband, the father of my children... He has a very small penis. In fact, there is only one other male I ever had sex with that had a smaller penis than him, and I'd really rather not get into those details. Suffice to say that I would not be able to do so with a straight face. When Shilo first showed up on my radar in March, 2013 I wasn't about to have anything to do with him. He had too many things about him that I found objectionable. The biggest one being his smoking. It wasn't until I read his blogs that he found favor (or was it pity?) in my eyes. He enjoyed all types of spankings, and he was going from person to person in search of "The One" a person who would win his heart (and ass) and he even went so far as to pay for the 'privilege' of being spanked by a pro-domme. I began to realize that I could fill his needs for a spanking, and my desire for a regular play partner that would contentedly stay by my side at parties and events. I offered to play with him at an upcoming party in June, 2013 and I maintained low expectations. His interest in chastity was also a contributing factor in that decision.

As anyone reading this knows, it all went very well, and we are not only in Love, but also happily married. I even put him in chastity on occasion. Now, his original desire for chastity was so he wouldn't masturbate, but he stopped when we both voiced a sexual interest in each other. Nowadays, I lock him for tease and denial, and, while he has a love/hate relationship with chastity, it mostly has to do with his own (often irrational) fears.  None of which he can actually voice. I want him, I desire him, I Love him! What really has him scared? I'm not sure. I can't reassure him about his fears because he's not exactly sure what has him bothered in the first place. All I can do is tell him the truth. I Love him, I enjoy sex with him, he pleases me in ways I never imagined, and, lastly, when I think about sex, the sex is with him, and him only. What more can he want?