Discharge (4-14-17)

I was discharged from PT on March 27th. They told me that they could no longer help me.  Am I 100% "healed?" No, but they felt I was ready to continue on at home. I still need assistance with certain aspects of getting dressed and undressed, and I don't have the "reach" I used to have. I'm not very happy about it either, and I'm debating joining a gym so I can get access to the machines I need so I can get to 100% healed. So, what's holding me back? Transportation, mostly. I'd like to go for about an hour three times a week, and having someone to go with me and/or drive me would make it easier for me to do it.  Shilo's work schedule doesn't allow me to do it without disrupting his sleep.


Doing the math only proved to me that joining a gym would be cheaper as well. Honestly, I'm discouraged about this. I hate being dependent on others, and even though I've come a long way, and I can do most of the things I need to do with minimal assistance, I want to be able to do things like folding sheets on my own and scratching my back without assistance. It would also be nice to not stand on my tiptoes to reach above my head.  It's been 9 months of hell, and I'm  wanting to do things that I haven't been able to do.


I plan on searching for gyms nearby and looking into memberships. Hopefully I'll find something that works for me.

Overdue Stuff and Emotional Plea

Superbowl Sunday, I had my MRI. After making sure I was heavily drugged, Shilo sent me off with my Boyfriend, who really deserves a better title, and his girlfriend (and many other things besides) . While he drove, we giggled and talked. I'm going to repeat it again: I am so lucky to have her as a metamour. She is a wonderful caring person, and we have quite a bit in common. I can't wait to see her again! Enough gushing!


The following day, I started my PT at the new place. I had gone 3 weeks without, and I definitely felt the difference because I had lost some progress. The machines were killing me, but I was really excited to be back on them.


I think I mentioned before that the agent who purchased the house is assisting us in finding a place. Well, we went there on Saturday morning (2-11), and on the way, we were informed that escrow closes March 1, and they would like us out by then. We were not prepared for that, and it put me in a panic. We moved into this house with the belief that it would be our "forever" home. None of us like moving, and I've moved three times since my mother died in December 2012. Having a short deadline only put more pressure on me.


It's really nice, but because it's a (newly remodeled) Townhouse, there's not nearly as much room as the House. Still, I can't complain. It's about 3 miles North of my childhood home on the same street. It's also centrally located, and within walking distance of a grocery store and the mall. I really am excited about the possibilities. PLUS, we can keep Donna Dawg-Lass and my cat Tsunami. What's sad was that we had to vote on the other cats. We were all in tears about having to vote, but we can't have 5 cats, one of which doesn't get along with the others, and another in poor health. Our former boarder is coming to get the disagreeable one, and we discussed euthanizing the sick one. That would leave us with 3 cats and a dog. Still one cat too many. He's an indoor/outdoor cat, so he would be hard to keep hidden, so we found someone to take him, but now they can't take him, and I'm heartbroken. I can't send him to the pound. He's a black cat, and they don't typically get adopted. I'll put more information at the end of this entry.


Shilo and myself also discussed it and decided to borrow money against my CD that has the last little bit of my inheritance left. We didn't take it lightly either, because the last thing we need right now is to owe more money, but we needed money to move. A lower amount was approved than what we asked for, but it's enough to pay the moving expenses and take care of other necessities. At least, I think it is.


Sunday evening, the three of us went to a long-awaited wedding of my Maid of Honor and Shilo's Best Man. We got to catch up with a few friends from the Hollywood Spanking Group, so it was extra nice. A little-known fact is that we got engaged at a Hollywood Spanking Group party. It was wonderful to see so much Love in one place.


Then came "Verdict Day" my appointment with the Ortho doctor. He told me my best option was to get a cortisone shot and continue with PT. I get my first shot on Friday morning. Ask me if I'm excited. No, I'm not excited. Not one bit! I'm scared. Like so afraid that I'm going to have to be drugged just so I can get through it.


Later in the day, I went to PT. After I finished my prescribed exercises I told the young man in charge of my case that I wasn't feeling challenged enough. That was really difficult to say, because it's not like I enjoy the pain and crying, but I want to regain my independence, and it won't happen unless I'm pushed a little harder. He sat me on a chair and pushed me while tears streamed down my face. He'd ease up, and then push harder. My muscle tone is so bad that without him holding me in position, my arm flopped down. I used to be so strong, I could lift and carry 100 pounds of dead weight, and yes, I can carry about 10 pounds now, and when this first happened, I couldn't lift a fork, so I've improved, but it's depressing. Talk about baby steps! Before I left I told him about the cortisone shot on Friday, so he told me to not exert myself or do my exercises over the weekend, and we'd start fresh on Monday morning (2-20)


I won't discuss what Shilo did at the bank on Monday afternoon, but he definitely deserved the lecture I gave him. He was finally remorseful Tuesday morning. He will be "paying" for his behavior for at least a few more days.

AND FINALLY, A REQUEST FOR HELP

I have 2 black cats, male, born in March 2014. I love them dearly, but I cannot keep them because I'm losing my home. The people who were supposed to take them changed their minds, and time is running out. Fran is very sweet and friendly and prefers the freedom of going outdoors on occasion. He likes other cats and dogs as well. He's never been around children, so I won't vouch for that, but I'm asking if any of you can help me with finding him a home, I would appreciate it. Please inbox me.

Progress Report and Insurance Woes

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Let's start with the Insurance. Calling it "Insurance woes" isn't exactly right, but it's easier to write than Insurance confusion. Go far enough back in my writing, and you'll discover nearly everything about my annoying preexisting medical conditions (diabetes, sleep apnea and others) You'll also find out about my accident in late July, and all the resulting problems and complications. 2016 wasn't kind, and I'm truly hoping for a better 2017 in spite of how much of the problems from 2016 have followed me into 2017.


Let's go back to that pesky medical insurance. My PT was ordered by the Orthopedic Specialist in hopes that my frozen shoulder (a result of my right humerus being broken in TWO places and a complication related to my diabetes) would improve. Every visit to the Orthopedic Specialist or PT cost us (the Household) $60. I was supposed to go to PT three times a week, and I saw the Orthopedic Specialist around five times last year. You can do the math. Well, when I went to my first PT appointment, my Physical Therapist looked at my copay, and reduced my appointments to once a week. Still, this meant that Shilo had to take on extra shifts at work to fund this. He didn't mind, because my health was always a priority for him, and he walked into our relationship knowing full well about my health at that time. I was actually going into liver failure at the time due to NAFLD. (http://www.liverfoundation.org/abouttheliver/info/nafld/) I hadn't been diagnosed with diabetes yet, that came as a surprise later. Let's just say he knew everything, and he accepted me and all my baggage, including my 5 adult children and Stitch. Anyway, you get the picture. The cost of my 4 prescriptions a month ($180) and CPAP supplies ($600 a year) and that's just me. I went from being self-sufficient to a burden overnight due to my accident. Visits to my GP were another $40, and I went about 4 times last year. Then there were the ambulance and ER charges etc. from the accident (too much to quote here) Fortunately those last charges were billed, so it wasn't straight out of pocket at the moment. We'll be paying that off for years to come.


We've established that even with medical insurance, I'm expensive. I had also become a burden, because I lost my independence. I needed help using the bathroom, eating, dressing, bathing, hair care, Everything. Neither Stitch or Shilo complained, even when things got ugly. They preserved my dignity as much as possible, cleaning me as often as I needed, dressing me up, and Shilo drove me wherever I needed to go. All with minimal complaint. Fortunately, due to the PT, I can now take care of nearly everything independently, except I still need my hair washed, and the occasional help getting dressed and putting on shoes and socks. I can't scrub my back using the brush without help and I have a long way to go. More on that later...


So, in November, in the midst of all this confusion, Stitch was given the opportunity to add me to his new Medical Insurance with no extra cost to him. The best news was that ALL doctor/medical visits would only cost $10 effective January 2017. Even the cost of my medication would go down to just over $20 month for all of them! At one point, my medication was costing us $180 a month. This was a reason to celebrate!


So, Monday morning was my final PT appointment before I see my Orthopedic Specialist on Monday morning next week. I was so excited about having to only pay $10 instead of the usual $60. Well... until I was told my new insurance didn't cover the PT provider because it was out of network. Fortunately, I still have the other coverage for another month, so I was able to pay $60 and get my final appointment and assessment. I need the surgery (DUH!!!) because my Range of Motion is still lacking in many areas. I could originally lift my arm straight up to 90 degrees, and now it's up to 115 degrees, so that's a huge improvement for me, but it means I can't reach above my head with my right arm, and I'm too young to be this limited. Also, my right elbow can't flex outwards at all, and trying makes me cry. Nevermind that any BDSM play is next to impossible if I use my right arm.


Well, after the news about my PT provider being out of network, I realized that there might be further problems, because my Orthopedic Specialist might not be in my network either. I tried the website, but it was increasingly frustrating for me, so I gave in and called and spoke to Customer Service. The first option was to see if I could get Continuity of care. NOPE! Next step was to see if the new insurance had my soon to be ending HMO available. Another NOPE! The final option was to see if they had any HMO available with my PCP and Orthopedic Specialist in the same network. YES!!! All this confusion took only 20 minutes to solve, but I felt like it had taken much longer. I called there on the verge of tears, but the Representative was so polite and patient with me that I soon relaxed, because for the first time in quite a while, I felt like this woman cared about my medical concerns. I was the priority, not the Insurance Provider.


My next step was to call my PCP and tell them about my new Insurance coverage and request an expedited referral to my current Orthopedic Specialist because of my new Insurance. It had to be expedited due to my appointment being in a week. My next step was to call my CPAP company and change to my new Insurance info, and order supplies. I'm not sure how much my coverage is, but my previous insurance didn't cover my supplies. I'll find out how much the coverage is when my supplies arrive.


I know that this isn't kinky in any way, but once I'm all better and healed, I'll be able to do all sorts of kinky things, and there's nothing kinkier than a woman who can do everything for herself.


Things are looking better and even though surgery will be necessary, and many more months of PT, I won't be such a financial burden on my Household, and that's the best I can ask for right now.

Whazzup???!!!

Pick and Choose!

On The Vanilla Front

My youngest and his wife just had their second child (my first grandson!) at 11:36AM PST on January 2nd. They named him Nyjah Justice and he was 9lbs 6oz with a head full of dark hair. I'm happy and proud for so many reasons, but the primary reason is because this time last year they had been separated for 8 months and were on the verge of a divorce. Jonathan's cancer enabled them to see how precious life was, and they decided to try to work things out. I'm not sure if the pregnancy was planned, but I know they're happy and that's all that matters.

Kinkwise

I was feeling well enough to go out, so Shilo and Stitch got me ready dressed and pretty for a NYE party at a local dungeon. I paddled Shilo into the New Year, mostly using my left hand.

Home Issues

Things got settled concerning the repairs and who was going to pay for them. Between needing a new water heater and having a gas leak repaired under the house, I was a nervous wreck, but at least we got past it. We're still looking for somewhere to move, but they must accept Donna as part of the deal. Still holding out for a miracle so we don't have to move.

Pain Management

I'm doing okay. Went to the dispensary 2 days ago to get more edibles, and discovered they were OUT. I wasn't pretty. I wasn't angry, but I was desperate. Mostly because I had found something that actually works. The bud tender suggested Weedmaps.

Weedmaps has a listing of both doctors and dispensaries with user reviews. Admittedly, most user reviews are useless unless you think "Good chronic" is a review that's helpful, but I digress... What is useful is that each dispensary has a "menu" which is extremely helpful. Click on the dispensary, and you'll have the address and hours it's open. Scroll down a little, and it will show the weed menu. I don't smoke, so I click "ALL CATEGORIES" and choose EDIBLE. It will have a list of all current edibles available at that spot. Highest priced items on top. You can change it so lowest priced items are on top, or you can search for a specific item using the search feature. I used that and found a place nearby that had what I wanted (or so I thought) It turned out it was a slightly different product when I got there, but I bought several packages of it. I haven't had any ill effects, so I'm happy. The strength was higher per item, so I have to take less. Unfortunately, it took me 2 days to realize why I was sleeping all day, but at least I wasn't tripping or high.

TLDR

New grandchild (my third!) but first grandson. I'm very happy.

Problems with my house aren't completely solved, but the immediate problem/issue was solved. Still a little stressed, but hopeful it works out.

I went to a dungeon and played for the first time since July. Sad I didn't see more people I know, but I know GRUE is coming up so I understand why. No GRUE for me this year.

I learned how to navigate a website to find dispensaries. I also learned to never run out of edibles and plan ahead.

Well, THAT was different!

Ever since I fractured my humerus in two places (#1 halfway between the elbow and shoulder straight across. #2 The ball portion of the shoulder straight down which was tiny but more serious.) I've had issues with pain management. At first, the medication (50mg of Tramadol every 8 hours) kept my pain level to a 3, but also put me to sleep most of the time. When it hit the two week mark, my pain was at an 8 with the Tramadol, so I added 500mg of naprosyn every 8 hours as well. That meant I was up every 4 hours, taking either one or the other. That kept me at 5 for about a week, but then it shot back up to an 8. When my pain is at an 8, I can't concentrate, I'm irritable, and I cry. (probably due to depression) Horrible thoughts go through my head as well.

Several years ago, a dear (vanilla) friend got injured, and to cope with the pain, she turned to alcohol and drugs. My mind went there many times. "Take a shot or two of brandy, it won't hurt." I wasn't able to drive (I'm still not) so I would invent ways in my head to get some, but I never followed through. Still, my pain was at an 8, so I stopped taking the medication altogether for about 10 days, knowing my tolerance for the medication would decrease and it would work better. I went 10-14 days with the medication and 10 days off. Nobody should have to live like that!


Getting a frozen shoulder as a complication due to my diabetes only made things worse. I'd cry at PT, and spend the next 48 hours in my recliner, only getting up to use the bathroom. I used Ben Gay, heating pads, and take the pain meds. It was ineffective at best. My entire life revolves around my pain and how it affects everyone around me. I'm rarely pleasant, and it's difficult to be polite when I can't take a shower without assistance. I understand. I know it's a horrible chore to bathe me and wash my hair. I used to do that as a job in a rehab center, and later, at an AIDS hospice. I was required to bathe my patients daily, and I'm lucky if it gets done to me 3 times a week. (YUCK!!!)


Misery loves company, so I sometimes vent on my status update. I guess it was a month ago, a friend suggested I try CBD for pain management. This requires a prescription for medical marijuana in California. I haven't smoked/used marijuana in about 35 years. I sat on this and debated until about a week ago. I had a long detailed discussion with Shilo and Stitch about what this would mean, and risks associated with it for me. We agreed that the benefits outweighed the risks. My next step was to google doctors who prescribed medical marijuana. I found one that was semi-local to me, and he had good ratings. The price for a visit wasn't horribly bad, so I made plans to go on Friday. (12-16)


There were 2 other people in the waiting room when I signed in. I sat and waited about 30 minutes. I had my most recent lab work with me along with questions. Whenever I see a doctor, I expect a short exam followed by questions. I also expect to see a live person who is concerned with my well-being. Imagine my surprise when I was sat in front of a computer and talked to a doctor via Skype! I was even more shocked (appalled!) when he asked me how much pot I was currently smoking! This guy was off to bad start already. His laughing and jokes made me even more uncomfortable. He was even more surprised when I asked him about edibles ("Don't worry, the people at the dispensary will answer all your questions." WTF???!!!) I felt cheated. Is this how it's really done? He told me I'd get my blood pressure taken and that I was approved. All I could think was Well, THAT was different! Then the receptionist told me that she didn't need my blood pressure and I paid her and got my prescription that was good for one year. Honestly, I'm surprised that there aren't stricter laws for getting a prescription. Maybe I'm old school, but this was definitely hinky.


I was kind of relieved that when we got to the dispensary a few miles away it was tightly controlled. Still, she tried to sell me "flower" (fancy term for the green stuff) Again, I discussed edibles, and she showed me what they had. I bought something called Cheeba Chews on her recommendation and 2 salted caramels because it looked good. I know I only needed a little, so that was enough to last me a week.

 

My Assessment:

Seeing a doctor via Skype is just a little too weird for me. He was unprofessional, and I doubt I would ever return.

The Cheeba Chews is just nasty tasting, but it's effective. I won't buy it anymore.

I like the salted caramel, and I only need half of one to be pain free for most of the day.

I think I'd rather stick to buying small edibles vs. the large ones (cookies, brownies, crispy bars)

The dispensary is almost too overwhelming for me.

I really think I need someone who is more experienced to assist me in picking out edibles that isn't an employee of the dispensary because there are too many choices.

ADDENDUM:

No, I will not name the doctor or the dispensary.