Thursday, November 14, 2013

The Care And Feeding Of A Slave

Congratulations! You have a brand new slave! Or... maybe an older one, or maybe one with a little or a lot of experience. At any rate, you now have a a slave. So, now what? This handy dandy guide will tell you all you need to know.

Wouldn't it be nice (great, wonderful) to have one of those? Unfortunately, it doesn't really exist, and my life experience tells me that we're all different with different needs. Still, it would be helpful. Imagine knowing a slave's real temperament before you allow them into your life.Wouldn't that be nice?  Because, face it: In any relationship, especially the beginning, we all try our best to show our good side. Well, there are exceptions, but I think we all have our public persona and our private one. I also think that once we are comfortable with someone, we are more likely to 'let loose.' I know that it wasn't until just recently that Shilo saw me on a bad day. It wasn't because I was hiding it from him, it was because they are a rare occurrence, and, even though I told him about them, he wasn't really prepared when it happened. Was it his fault? No... Was it my fault? Not really... I mean, I couldn't have predicted the reaction I had. Either way, now he knows. The same goes for me. Shilo has said and done things that I've been at a loss to deal with. I could have lived apart from him for several years and not known some of these things. It was only because we live in the same house that I found out. BUT... It's okay. I Love him and accept him just as he is. The things he does, the way he is, is uniquely him, and I am uniquely me.

So, even though I don't have a guidebook, or a way of predicting all his behavior, I do understand Shilo, and, when I'm befuddled by him, all I can do is ask or wait for an answer. I try to pay attention to his many desires. I talk to him, I LOVE him, even when I'm hurt or (on very rare occasions) angry. I try to see things from his point of view. I give as much affection as I can. I call "Bullshit" when necessary, and I remind him that this is the path he chose, and that he wasn't forced or coerced into it. I use behavior modification to help him with stumbling-blocks, and I am his cheerleader. I shower him with all the affection I can muster, and I also pepper him with the occasional frustrated, not-so-nice thoughts I am having regarding him. I put up with the stubbornness, and I give him the discipline he desires, and, on very rare occasion, I punish him (only twice so far) because he needs and deserves it.

My journey is not your journey, and my ways are not your ways. I can be a very severe Mistress when needed, but I am also open-hearted and kind, and I do my best to not hand out more than a person can take. Shilo? He will tell you himself that I am not cruel or abusive to him. He enjoys (longs for) the beatings I give him, and, other than the punishments, I've never pushed him too far. I know him, his body, his reactions. I will never intentionally cause him harm. The only thing I'm learning now is his mind, his thought processes, and what and why and how he acts the way he does when he does.  The learning curve... His predictable unpredictability. I Love him, this man, my slave, my lover, my husband. If I wrote a guide, all it would say is "Love your slave, the rest will work out."


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